Boat repairs part 2

I returned almost a week later to find that the epoxy at the seat repair site is still a little sticky - JB said my mix of the epoxy resin was probably not ideal. But nothing to do about it la, and I think it holds up pretty well, so I went ahead to work on it.


The scary part was to drill a hole blindly and hope that it matches the other one on the wings that extends down from the coaming. The whole thing was actually quite tough to drill through, and I had an initial false start when I went for the wrong site to drill. I shift further down, finally got a hole, squeezed in the screw and started wriggling it around forceful in the hope of connecting through to the other hole. I missed by a bit! No choice but to enlarge the hole on one side so that the screw will go in straight. After all the effort, the whole thing look reassuringly solid.


Then, time to reveal the epoxy work at the bow. I ripped away all the masking tape, and found out that the plastic sheet was firmly epoxied to the entire area. Some epoxy have flowed down and coagulated in rivulets at the bumper, and I chipped away the brittle plastic bits where there were air pockets beneath.


After some filing down of the protruding rough bits, it looks like this. Not very pretty, but that's of no concern. Test piloting on friday!

Boat repairs

The repairs started on thursday evening, and continued on till Friday. First thing - the bow crack. I cut out a piece of carbon-kevlar cloth, spread epoxy over the area and plastered the cloth over. Another layer of epoxy goes over it after that.


There was a nice glistering layer of epoxy smoothened out over the patch, and it looked really nice. But then I was told that it is necessary to tape down a plastic sheet over the patch, so as to press down on the patch and squeeze out all the bubbles under the epoxy.

That was quite a disaster - the plastic sheet could not conform to the curvature of the area and couldn't lie flat on it, despite making slits into the sheet and trying to make them layer over each other. I tried pulling the different sides of the sheet and quickly taping them down, trying to make it taut.


It looks terrible, but what the heck. It's gonna be covered with black tape after I'm done with it.

Next, back to the seat. Having used a finely meshed carbon paste to glue back to the broken piece, I wrapped a layer of the cloth over it in a bid to strengthen it.


The last I checked yesterday morning, the whole area was thick with repair material, and feels solid. Gonna drill a hole in it tonight and bolt it back to the sides. Wish me luck!

Looking for a paddle exchange!

Someone in the US just put up his 215cm Werner Ikelos bent shaft paddle on eBay for sale - the exact same one as mine! The starting price for the bidding is high as expected, $365USD; if I convert it to SGD at a rate of $1USD to $1.5SGD, it will be around $550; the price I quoted to uncle Charles!

At least that auction validates the price that I put on this premium paddle, and I am not even offering it up for auction. Now, I'm just waiting for someone to put up a 205cm version of the same paddle so that I can snap it up! I still prefer using shorter paddles from my playboating and polo playing experiences, and my aggressive strokes don't work well with a longer paddle like my 215, not optimal, in any case.

Carbon paddles are so beautiful to behold...I can admire the fibres' weave pattern endlessly...

Silence

One good thing about invigilating exams is that for once, I can be in a classroom full of students and hear only the sound of the fans whirling. Ah...such silence. Educationists will tell you that a quiet classroom can mean unengaged students, but still it's a (beginning) teacher's dream.

And I think kids these days really need a good dose of silence in their life. There's so much noise and activity in their lives everyday, and I feel that most of them will be frustrated by a sudden powerlessness in the face of mute silence. It will be a whole new experience for them, to have nothing to entertain them except for the surrounding scenery, where they can only meditate and ponder on their own thoughts.

I recall the times I spend in Nepal, when I walk through the vast natural landscape for days, often hearing nothing but the murmuring of the wind. And everyday, I wake up to continue the same routine of hiking, undisturbed by thoughts of unread emails, phone calls not received, work not done. That was really really liberating, and I was perfectly happy with that.

If they can't take time out to think assert their own personality and straighten out their thoughts about their own lives, how can they be confident individuals? I wish I can give them an experience that rivals mine; there's no way they will ever be the same again if they can learn to talk to themselves and be happy with that conversation.

The sea is calling to me...

A series of incidents had opened my heart to the call of the sea these 2 days. Out of no reason, an old paddling kaki asked if I would consider selling my prized Werner paddle, and that got me thinking of possibly replacing it with a new one of a shorter (and preferred) length. Then Roland asked me if I wanted to go for 4 star refresher course next year; unfortunately, teachers have no leave to take, and I don't want to go for a course where I can't respect the instructors.

But anyway, that got me looking out for paddles and boats online when I was supposed to be doing work in school. I wonder if I can get a good deal on my kayak now with the local dealer, seeing that the USD is dropping to record lows. Can I? Can I?

And I am reminded of my new tent that I have yet used out in the wilderness. And my MSR hydration pack spigot tap and shower hose, and my backpack raincover, and lots more. I should go somewhere! Anywhere...

My poor boat....

...Just suffered from a bump below the front bumper. Actually it could have happened much earlier, just that I discovered it only last week when I tore off the tapes securing the bumper and discovered it. I must have got it from charging for the first ball in matches, or any one of the numerous dogfights that I engage in with opposing defenders.


A closer look reveals that parts of the epoxy layer had been chipped away from the collisions, and fine stress fracture lines radiating outwards from the epicenter of the impact.


Yesterday, I went down to NTU just to peel away the epoxy layer so that I can prepare to paste a new layer of material above it. Without a grinder, I had to use a small knife from a multi-tool to pick at the sides and chip it away one bit at a time - torturous!


A closer look at the job - what you are looking at are the layers of broad Kevlar tapes that makes up the entire boat.


Without the epoxy at hand, I had to resume work another time. Then I took out the screws at the side of my seat, as I noticed a crack by the holes. My goodness, it wasn't a crack at all - the entire chunk around the screw came off, where I previously repaired it!


Ok...Now that's much trickier to repair. Sigh, I'll see what I can do...

Anxiety

I'm in the midst of invigilating the English paper for my class right now, literally. They are still writing at this moment, and in a few minutes' time I will have to go do my shift till their paper ends.

And I am damn kan cheong about how they will do for it. The paper I set was quite hard, and I only realised that after looking through this sec 3NT assessment book I bought from Popular. Too late. But then again the HOD and VP had given their nods to the paper, so I assume it is still possible for them to fare well.

Ultimately I really hope that they can do well, and show me that I did managed to teach them something for the past 15 weeks, because I don't think I did a good job of it.

Looking through appearances

Regrettably, I got to know my Principal and Vice-Principal better through recent events, and I don't like what I see behind the facade.

I was in consultation with my HOD regarding my work review yesterday. Apparently, impressions left behind from 2 past lesson observations clouded the VP's judgment so much that she rated me unreasonably for a few 'intangible qualities', which is not objective and totally unrelated to the conclusions she had drawn then.

For example, she believed that where 'subject mastery' is concerned, I am deemed to be at a 'developing' stage still as I did not exhibit good classroom management skills (which I beg to differ actually). These 2 qualities have totally no bearing on each other, and I was so agitated about it that I told my HOD my version of things, to the extent that eventually she conceded and moved me up a grade there.

But the damage is done. It is a personal affront for me to have to defend my personal qualities against others' words, because I live by my strong principles and I am honest about myself. So that's how a work review is like. You rate yourself lower and they concur with you. You rate yourself higher and you will be asked to defend yourself. It is insulting to me that my HOD gave me a pop quiz about PE related issues, in that way trying to show me that I am not as good as I said I am. I had expected her to be better than this, but I don't hold it against her. It's the VP's words versus mine.

Today, I submitted an MC to the Principal, and she goes: "I am very concerned about your high MC rate, and I am seriously monitoring it...". I was stunned - hello, this is my first MC from a clinic! Previously I was on hospitalisation leave for 5 days, and can that be helped? She went on: "For a young officer, I don't expect that from you...normal MC rates are like 5 days a year...you have a long career ahead of you...you better take care...".

I was so hopping mad then. Teachers aren't allowed to question students' MCs or even letters, and here we teachers are treated like malingers when we take MCs. I insistently told her what I told, and even held her back to explain to her that I have no issues with work or my personal life whatsoever to get MCs for day offs. But she deserve harsher words really, and I now see how much she really cares for her staffs.

I'll monitor the situation and see how I fit into this place...if not, it's bye bye in 2 years' time.

A storm!

After blading at ECP in the morning yesterday, Karen and I changed out of the blades into slippers and walked over to Subway for lunch. As we finished lunch, we walked back out to the beach front towards the carpark, when we saw a water sprout off the coast!


I hurriedly whipped out my phone camera and stood there filming the movement of the sprout, enduring the lashing wind and rain as it approaches. People were running away in droves when it neared the beach a distance away, and there was a white screen at the beach when the sprout died.

Then a second one appeared! It formed much nearer to the beach then the first one, and approached menacingly. Eventually it reached the front of a breakwater, and went up even further, whipping up sand within itself. The whole force crashed through the trees and I saw a branch dropped, before the force dissipates and it died. By that time, I was quite battered by the raindrops and we quickly ran back to the car.

Awesome!

My new toy!

It was a tough choice, but finally, I settled on getting this a few hours ago. It's a 1/100 Strike Gundam IWSP (integrated Weapons Strike Pack) model.


Can't wait to build it!

Toys!

I was walking around with Karen looking at toys yesterday because she's getting something for her nephew, and I was so tempted to get a few myself! All those adult issues have screwed my brain so much that a sudden visit to the toy shop made me want to rediscover the joy of putting things together and creating nice toys just for the fun of it.

First it was a clear version of a 'Freedom' Gundam model that I saw on display in Isetan - a beauty! I used to do models with my old pal William at his home during my secondary school days, and 2 of my models are still with him I think. We used to talk about finding time to resurrect them together, and maybe it's time to do so by getting new ones to play with!

Then...Legoland! I recently bought a few mini magnetic figures for my metal cabinet in the office, and it was a joy to see them everyday. I bought a set with an imperial storm trooper, a Y-wing fighter and a AT-ST driver to add to my collection of 9 knights.

And there's so much items there that drives me wild. I want a ferrari! They have several models but this is the sleekest one.

A ferris wheel which Karen prefers - it is driven by a motor that actually makes it go round! Did I mention too that it can be transformed into a crane or a bridge that can be lifted, all with the same parts?

And there's this gorgeous chess set with really nice figures, sold in a set with a chess board. Now, both of us agree that it is a beauty, but we don't play chess! Nonetheless, we are now seriously toying with the thought of getting it to decorate our future place as a display.

With all these beautiful toys, I had to go online and check out the Lego website to see what other amazing stuff they have, and I did discover some really cool models. How about the classic X-Wing fighter? I saw it when it was sold a few years back, and had regretted not buying it before it disappeared, though it was a big sum of money for me to part with for a toy then.

The Imperial Star Destroyer! I saw that in the shops too previously, and it was like, twice the price of the X-Wing. I saw the real model at a friend's place a long time ago, and it was amazing. Can I buy it now?

Finally, the Millennium Falcon! The largest lego set ever produced for the market! With 5195 pieces in the set, and spanning almost 90cm when completed, this is out of the world man. Comes with a certificate too!

$500USD each, anyone?

Nurturing the whole child

Marking my students' papers is an exercise that shows up both parties' inadequacies. On my side, I often know what's right and wrong, but I have no idea how I can communicate that difference to the kids. This happens frequently when we deal with sentence structures - I cannot explain why some parts of the sentence have to go in front and others behind, except that that's how English works.

Which brings me to this conclusion: the worst thing for a kid to do is to avoid reading and start watching the TV or playing the computer games early. Without an intuitive ability to use the language, they will be crippled throughout their lives. You need language to impart education, so a poor grasp of the language limits not only learning ability, but the entire imaginative world of the individual, if you believe wittgenstein.

So. To teach the kids, I either have to explain to them the technicalities of English grammer rules, or insist that they somehow know it intuitively. Of course, the latter option is the more painless one, but none of my kids have the will or interest to pick up reading again. Then how? Jialat lah. They catch no ball I also boh pian.

So please, if you people out there ever have kids, don't shower them with toys or let them watch TV. Read to them when they are young, then make them read to themselves, all the way till adulthood. Force it on them if you have to, it doesn't matter. For once they seen the language being used properly often enough, there is no way they can get it wrong in the future. And you would have given them the best thing they can ever get.

Lazy sunday

Woke up really late just now, past 1pm, and I have been feeling like crap now. Sleeping too much makes your muscles sore and limbs tired; I should have set the alarm, but I didn't expect myself to sleep for so long past my usual waking hours.

Trying to mark a report writing test now, with terrible language errors every other script that I come across, doesn't exactly make things better.

This is the only year when I didn't look forward expectantly to the arrival of the mooncake festival, for the chance to gobble down those sweet cakes all month long. They don't make it like they used to. Mooncakes now have anorexic layers of the fragrant baked crusts, and are only choked full of the sickly sweet paste.

My favourite yam paste crispy skin mooncake with yolks is hardly found anywhere, and the only one that I tried was too sweet, with the paste the same texture as those white lotus etc paste and not of the rough grainy texture that it should have. Disappointing. Anyone have any good recommendations of good 'traditional' mooncakes to share, before the season ends?

I am still yearning...

...for a Feathercraft Khatsalano. Perhaps I can only do kayak touring twice a year at best if I ever own one, but still, it gives me the chance to dream of daring explorations.

Roland once messaged me after watching a screening of "This is the Sea": "Eh, we must buy our own kayaks la. We cannot stop halfway like this." I agree; up till today I still keep that SMS in my phone as a reminder.

Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season

I just realised that though I love to teach the Sec 1s PE still for next year, I am not cut out to teach a low-ability class for English like what I am doing now. Since I took them, almost everything I planned for them is too difficult for them to handle. Everyday, the first class I used the lesson materials on will give me feedback about the ways in which they find challenging, and I have to help the kids out in the second class. Though they are mostly guilty of intellectual sloth, I do think my work for them is the main reason for its non-completion.

And quietly I am feeling stagnant about everything I do. I used to lead an exciting life. I scoured the internet for challenging reads and expanded the horizons of my literary knowledge then; now I search all around for the easier English work for my classes. I used to plan enrichment activities for myself, and pick up varied skills by myself. Now I only do routine things week in and out.

What is there to move me and inspire me? Holidays are only a rest breaks now and not personal learning journeys like in the past, they can't give me satisfaction, and that's probably why I am so much more nonchalant about them.

I hope I don't take to retail therapy to spice up my life...

The inner life

Just a thought -

• Do people who are more angsty or who stores up more problems within themselves generally considered to have a deeper 'inner life', compared to someone who is more carefree and happy-go-lucky?
• Do introverts tend to be thought of as having a richer 'inner life' compared to extroverts who show their hearts on their sleeves?

It seems strange to me that the term 'inner life' seems to have a slightly positive connotation, to mean that someone has depth of character, when frequently they are applied to introverts or people with emotional problems. As if the happy extroverts out there are all somewhat shallow. Not generalising anything here, just my own perception of some word definitions here.

Not sure why this popped up in my mind too. Anyway, writing about anything else is much preferably than for me to spell out the tedious tasks I do each day.

Another weekend to come and go...

I was called back to school this morning to conduct a remedial class in comprehension, and when I got there, I was told by my HOD that I am to observe a more senior teacher teach first before handling next saturday's session. That other teacher actually wanted me to teach instead because she always had confidence in my language teaching skills, having supervised me for a term. So anyway, I was sitting there for more than an hour in the room, wondering why the hell I need to be there.

The week came and went by in a flash. The last few days, I was so busy attending meetings etc after lessons that there was no time at all to settle down and get down to the 'important' task of planning lessons for next week. Really, providing good lessons is really down at the bottom of the to-do list of most teachers, what with all the silly paperwork one has to cope with. So I must use my weekend to plan something out, and the thought troubles me so much that I feel like skipping my badminton training and not turn up for a wedding dinner that I already promised to attend.

Also, there is much dissonance between the teaching style that NIE/PESS advocates and what school management wants out of PE teachers. I buy into the lecture-correct style of discipline but the school obviously prefer the disciplinarian approach. My VP said that during my lesson observation teaching wushu to the class lined up in rows, the non-participation of the kids behind could result in accidents and injuries and may lead to investigations if that happens, no joke. I'm so convinced they will start bashing each other on the head if they don't do their horse-stance diligently with me.


Just to end off on a positive note - on Friday I followed the normal technical group that went for this 'junior chef' enrichment course, and saw them in action baking pastries of all sorts. It was really refreshing to see them all engaging in something enthusiastically for once, and I wish I can make this happen in my English class. One of the girls wanted me to help her knead balls of grated coconut, and I could only produce a ball by the time she's done with everything; nice to see that they are able to teach me for a change. Don't take it the wrong way, but I felt so much love for the kids at that moment, seeing them so happy.

Now, when can I start planning wonderful activities such as these...

At least die playing!

Read this!

Brits 'dying not to do exercise'

Lack of exercise increases the risk of heart disease and cancer

Most UK adults are so unwilling to exercise that not even the threat of an early death is enough to get them off the sofa, a survey suggests.

Only 38% of people questioned by YouGov said they would do more exercise if their life depended on it.

And British Heart Foundation figures show only a third of people manage to do enough exercise to achieve the minimum recommended amount.

Experts warned inactivity is dangerous even in those who are a healthy weight.

Among the 2,100 people surveyed, brisk walking was found to be the favourite way of getting exercise - before dancing, swimming or going to the gym.

Physical activity and obesity are two different risk factors so even if you're lean, if you're inactive you increase your risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease Dr David Haslam, National Obesity Forum

However, only 4% said they found exercise fun.

A greater inspiration was exercising to change body shape, particularly among women and young adults.

Almost a third of 18 to 24-year-olds reported they would do more exercise if they saw an unflattering photo of themselves or were told they looked fat.

Other less predictable forms of motivation to work out included fancying someone at the gym.

But only 13% of men and 7% of women said keeping a healthy heart was their main motivator.

Excuses for not exercising were found to be always close at hand - from not having enough time to the one in seven who blame bad weather for not doing enough physical activity.

Deadly serious

The British Heart Foundation, which is launching a campaign to encourage people to up their heart rate for 30 minutes a day, says that someone dies every 15 minutes as a direct result of physical inactivity.

Dr Mike Knapton, director of prevention and care at the BHF, said it was a "deadly serious" problem.

"With our busy lifestyles and labour-saving devices we've stopped getting the exercise our bodies desperately need.

"For many people, exercise has become an ugly word, something to avoid at all costs - but you'd be amazed how easy it is to up the tempo of your heartbeat.

"Just 30 minutes a day will do you and your heart the world of good."

The government recommends a minimum of 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity five times a week.

Dr David Haslam, clinical director of the National Obesity Forum, said it made for depressing reading but confirmed what had been shown in clinical trials, where even those who had a heart attack did not change their lifestyles.

"Children instinctively exercise when left to their own devices, but they don't because they're stopped from doing that by the school curriculum and parents scared of child abductors and murderers lurking on every corner.

"So, if it doesn't become a habit, you're not going to work hard to go against the tide and introduce it as an adult."

He added that exercise could be incorporated into everyday life.

"Physical activity and obesity are two different risk factors, so even if you're lean, if you're inactive you increase your risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease," he said.

Know most of the readers here are active people like myself, do keep it up! Saying that you lack time for exercise is super lame. Think of it as buying time for the future, because sports can help you take less MCs, save you trips to the psychiatrist from stress-related reasons, prevent you from getting fractures easily, and can potentially save you from the dialysis machine or the operation table. Women get osteoporosis easily without exercise, and men beer bellies which have a direct causal link to cardiovascular diseases (think it indicates fat around organs).

Go out and have fun!

Responsible parenting

My day was quite spoilt early in the morning when I tried to get this kid to take out the numerous earsticks on his earlobe and the lip stud out, the little rascal refused to listen to me, wouldn't talk or listen, and just dodged me all the way till he managed to worm back into class. There's nothing I can do if I don't want to start manhandling him, so I had to let him go, and I felt very irritated by my powerlessness.

Later in the day, I went in to take charge of my 3NT classes, who are taking courses in image consultancy or animation. The notorious few sprout nonsense in response to questions, made noise, then finally arranged a few chairs and went to sleep when no one paid any attention to them.

Parents (and all you would-be parents) really should make sure that they have loads of time to properly nurture their child everyday before deciding to have kids. Day in and out I am appalled by the character of these youths without guidance, loud and empty vassals without much useful knowledge, clueless about their direction in life, really feeling shy and inferior but faking bravery and confidence with those stupid antics everyday. It is not their fault that they did not have the proper guidance to do the right things in life. Why did their parents neglect to school them properly in moral lessons? Why did they bring their kids into the world?

Right now, I don't see myself going to have a kid for the next 5 years, and if I stretch that to the next 10 years, I'm probably going to stay that way after marriage. It's not that I am afraid my future kids will turn out this way. I just don't see why kids should come into the picture after marriage, seemingly only to satisfy the demands of a primitive natural impulse.

Winding down

Things are going slow right now, a good respite from my normal hectic routine. It's not that there's no work, but that I have the leeway to slow down in churning out stuff right now. My 3NT classes have this week long enrichment modules so I don't have to plan lessons for them this week. Got to produce something for them to work on next week though, in addition to silly things like writing a useless report, planning the year end activity for Odac, and working on my work target setting exercise.

I just got the schooling schedule for next year, and that has me looking forward to future holidays even though 2008 haven't started ha. I'll be going Bangkok for a week or so in December, and the rest of the time will be spent locally doing work most probably. Adults need lots of money to do a few things and I have become pretty thrifty; big holidays is equated with lots of money spent too, and so I haven't been thinking about them for a long while.

Been busy going for canoe polo after work religiously these few weeks, even though it is just for to train the new batch of players. The pathetic bronze medal did managed to make me more motivated than ever to improve on my personal skills. It's good to have something to distract me from the stress of work.

Work life is so boring. My blog is growing boring too.

Moods

Coming back from the school break this week, you hear of me complaining about being mentally unprepared and tired. Actually, the prospect of meeting my sian English class also puts me off somewhat, especially when I have to think of English work for them every other day in advance.\

But I told myself to try be cheerful and go into class with a happy-go-lucky mood, and well, it worked wonders. I didn't feel so bad about things when students don't do work, students seem more inclined to do my work, and I could even stem mischievous behaviour somewhat with my cheerful demeanour when talking to certain students about their behaviour. Things does become more pleasant when you have a healthy attitude.

Anyway, I went back to that infamous class to collect worksheets from some of them near the end of the day, and saw the entire class all seated and incredibly quiet in my English HOD/Discipline master's EOA class. I timidly went in to ask for the worksheets, and asked one of them softly if a test was on; Nope, it was just a normal lesson for them like any other day. Sigh. No point wondering why they don't behave like this in the class - your status as perceived by students makes all the difference.

---

On a unrelated note, I was very disappointed when 3 of my malay ODAC kids were caught for possession of cigarettes today. I had always thought that the malay students in my school are all pretty angelic in behaviour. Well, it's not that they are 'bad' after today, but it just disappoints me that they turn out to be somewhat immature in thought to engage in smoking.

The boy I interviewed told me that they picked it up quite long ago, and when I said they shouldn't be smoking when they haven't even started earning their own keep, he replied that he does work after school. Apparently his family don't give him allowance during the weekends and holidays.

Ok. My guess is that maybe he picked up smoking from seeing people smoke at work. And he work partly to support his habit, partly because his family cannot satisfactorily provide for him. And probably like many others, the work will inevitably have a negative effect on his studies, and the lack of good qualifications in the future will hamper his ability to obtain good employment. It all sounds like a vicious cycle; that's probably the scenario of a typical lower-income class family.

Post - competition

The national champs for canoe polo was just over yesterday, and I still can't stop thinking of it every hour. I think it is rather strange really, that people spend so much time, money, and effort on sports like these, playing for a mere medal piece with no monetary value whatsoever. But somehow, the piece of metal I have with me now stirs up strong emotions in me still.

My team prepared for the competition as per usual - frequent absentees suddenly turned up for trainings, we got a few friendly games going, and training sessions focuses on game play and tactics rather than skills. During trainings, we couldn't beat the girls' team by more than 2 goals, and I thought we will get the same results as all other competitions, with nothing to show.

We got off to a slow start, losing our first match even when we rained so many shots on their goal frame. We eked out a win with some miraculous goals in the second match, and we told ourselves we must whack the last team, which we did with a 4-2 win. We went into the semis!

First match against Red Tide 2, and it was a glorious game. We defended so well that they had no chance to get a shot away, and gave them no turnover chances at all with superb passing and control of the offense. Again, we rained shots at them, and was unlucky to lost to 2 powerful long shots and a deflected shot. RT2 eventually won the gold, while we got the bronze in the 3rd-4th playoffs, making me a bitter man.

I still got lots more to improve - in the important matches, I was afraid of fumbling catches, and whenever I thought of shooting I cautioned myself with the consequences of a turnover attack should the shot get blocked. Every competition makes me feel the need to improve further.

But finally, I see a team worth playing with, and realistic goals worth striving for.

Streaming in Singapore Schools

Once and for all, I wish to put to rest the debate about the appropriateness of streaming students in Singapore schools. Perhaps the only thing that is questionable is when the streaming should be done, but there is no doubt to me that students need to be grouped according to abilities.

Fact: My sec 3Normal (Technical) students might even fail a sec 1 express stream English test paper.

I am tempted to let them try such a paper and see how well they fare, but I am not optimistic about the results. In the Normal technical stream, their writing component in test papers is guided - they can extract materials from a previous comprehension passage in the same paper, and simply rewrite in from another perspective. Even so, many fail this part, and some can't even be bothered to write. We give primary school vocabulary lists for them to work on, so far behind are they in terms of language abilities.

Fact: Even with students in the same class (for any stream), they often display varying competencies when comparing their results in single subjects.

In my sec 3NT classes again, there are the few who consistently get their A's, and others who regularly fail their English tests or get borderline passes. This shows that streaming is an inexact science, but a necessary one nonetheless. Imagine these kids tackling English papers designed in a different format - the weak students will have no chance at all with them. They will have to first show that they can handle papers customised to their ability level before attempting more difficult papers; which is the reason why promotion from one stream to another is difficult.

Students have a hard life in Singapore - from young they have to learn to swim or sink. If ever you readers out there have kids, make sure you teach your kids to have the proper attitudes with regards to studying, and help them learn their languages well. Somehow, I think that poor results in school can lead to social problems, as true as this statement is the other way round.

Movie Review: Ratatouille

So I was persuaded to watch this cartoon on Monday, though I didn't had much hope that it will turn out to be something irresistible - how interesting can a movie be when its whole plot can be summarised succinctly as 'sewer rat wanna be gourmet chef'...

Anyway, it was entertaining in some ways, though many things didn't make much sense at all. I didn't end up being convinced that 'Anyone can cook' in the sense of gourmet cooking and not just merely making raw ingredients palatable. Most people I know can hardly go beyond maggi mee and boiled eggs, which is not a fault onto them however; who have time for such things in this modern society of haste and waste?

But I do agree with the movie that it is much nobler to create than take. Animals can only take, and almost everything that they do create is for functional purposes. Only man can create (and apppreciate) 'useless' things such as art and cultural artifacts, and it is these things that elevates man to a higher level above the beasts, in certain aspects.

So when's the last time you created anything for purely aesthetic/altruistic reasons?

Teachers' Day

My first teachers' Day spent as a teacher - I didn't really feel happy. I am quite sheepish and embarrassed when my students wished me well about it, and I could only give them encouraging smiles of thanks that didn't really came out because my heart was overflowing with joy (or similar sorts of emotions).

I think it is all a little contrived for me, all the celebrations and stuff. The current situation as a teacher isn't exactly killing me, but in a short span of time it has definitely did much to lower my self-esteem, made me feel pathetic at times, and troubled me with the lesson planning and the miserable thought of seeing a certain class. I ain't even half cheerful in school everyday, and it makes me feel that I somehow let down my PE classes too. In short - I am still far away from the ideal teacher that I wanted to be. I probably haven't been an inspiration to anyone yet, haven't helped anyone much on anything, and have only been toiling like a slave for the school doing work that many don't want to bother themselves with.

I got a cup from my best English girl in the class, a bag of cookies from an Odac senior girl, a card from a sec 1 Odac girl, and yah, that's it. I wasn't bothered that I didn't more stuff, and actually I sort of didn't know what to do with the gifts (except for the cookies of course, which were quite good). I was very surprised a lot of you guys out there reading this sms-ed me your well wishes for the day though; really didn't know what made you guys remember this day, and me, when most of you ain't teachers. But nonetheless, I appreciate it, even though my reply to you might have been a bit sourish.

The start of term break

Yup, I got a week's break from work from tomorrow. That doesn't mean that I don't do work of course; anyone who think teachers enjoy all their holidays is very ill-informed. My Odac kids are doing their first aid course tom and tuesday, and I will be there, albeit doing work of my own while the listen to the instructors. Time is not to be wasted frivolously in school. Karen has suggested that I not organise events during the term break in the future so that both students and teachers have the break to themselves, and now I rightly concur with her on this.

I have been playing in the canoe polo national champs competition for 2 weekends now. It is always during time like these that the team really gets fired up and enthusiastic. During this period, juniors acquire their own paddles, we explored new tactics, made new commitments to train harder and better. The juniors were great, 2 out of 3 scored in their debut, and the crowd almost thought an upset was coming when they led the game 2-0 against NP. I am hoping that, having tasted success, they will eager to train hard and eventual win games as a team. And I hope that we will not forget our individual commitments to brush up on our individual skills.

So. Despite feeling dead and drained, I still hope that eventually, my team can commit themselves to more training each week. I always believe in the all-or-none principle, to some extent. One thing I realised: Having an active sports life makes me feel better, to be a committed sportsman rather than a tired teacher.

22nd ODAC AGM

Well well...it has been 4 years since I last participated in the AGM as an exco member, and since then I still went back religiously every year to support the event, both to meet up with the old people and also to show the new committee people that NUS ODAC have a history, and have seniors who are still concerned with the success of the club throughout the years.

Attendance for AGM has always been poor; more so with this year. It is important then, that people like myself attend to ask the candidates for the committee good questions, to let them understand the importance of the responsibilities that they will shoulder in the club. I hope that eventually, I will have a chance to go outdoors with them, inspire and show them that the club's unofficial alumni is always willing to go the extra mile to help them in their education to develop themselves into good leaders.

And of course we all enjoy the oldies' supper after that, to reminiscence about the old times, catch up, and dream of opportunities to meet up again in the future. Though it is shameful that I hardly have time to join the regular acitivites some of the oldies suggested, I hope that's not the always the case.

Though I feel old being at the AGM, it makes me feel young again.

Term break

I have slogged hard and spent sleepless nights working this week, and finally it is coming - after tomorrow's Teachers' Day celebrations, school will be off for a week.

But oh, Monday and Tuesday I will be in school because my ODAC kids are doing a first aid course. I need to set exam papers too. Plan the lessons for next term. Write rubbish for the CHERISH report. Key in height/weight data for the level. Update my record book. Do a store inventory check. Plan for the end of year ODAC activity.

And I am sure I left out some things from this to-do list.

Happy holidays, all teachers!

---

Today my VP and my English HOD came in to observe my favourite English class. I think the lesson went well, I managed to entertaine all of them pretty well, and I was busy running around answering questions from the students.

I took the same lesson to another class, and only 2-3 person actually looked at me as I talked. And I just went on rambling while mentally making myself oblivious to the actions of 30 recalcitrant students, stopped after I am done, hand the worksheet to them, and get them to do. A handful will attempt it by themselves, another handful needed lots of help to understand the task, and more than half just sleep or talk.

I sinned a lot these days - I coerced these people to do their work, and only succeeded in making them write one or two sentence of nonsense. So many pristine sheets of paper were defaced because I harassed them to write something, and this wasn't the first time that happened. Imagine how much harm I did to the environment!

OJT lessons...

I just got some on the job training from a student in my new NT class yesterday. Giving them a break from me and the last common test, I played a movie for them to watch for the lesson. The class chairperson took the chance to come up to me then to tell me about how I should manage the class!

Apparently my English HOD who took them previously always revised specific parts of the common test paper with them before the actual test, and that is why there was a small uproar when I gave them the test on Monday without any sort of revision. I didn't realised that they needed this routine before they can feel confident about taking tests; without it, some of them felt outraged and simply refused to try the paper I think.

And he also wants me to tone down my voice when I speak to the class (I am awake of my loud voice but am still working at trying to make it softer), give them a period to do work and then another to slack and talk, etc. All very good advices, and I received them humbly and told him how I am still not comfortable with his class at this moment, and will probably need time to adjust myself.

---

I learnt in a meeting later that day that the NT kids can fail every subject and will still get through to ITE for some courses. That knowledge does put everything into perspective huh? Maybe that's why many of them do not feel the need to do better. I'll still carry on and work at it nonetheless, because my conscience does not allow me to do otherwise.

I have test markings and lesson plans and emails to reply to et cetera this week, but am still trying to maintain my sporting lifestyle. After an English workshop on Tuesday, I simply cannot go for polo session on Tuesday and felt quite bad about it. I'll probably have to bring down my laptop and do marking while watching my juniors play games there.

Invigilation

Just watching my NT class take a common test makes me vomit blood. Many just flipped through the pages and then proceeded to put their head on the table and slumber. Some just say "dunno how to do so difficult" and waste the time staring at the paper. I wonder where they adopted this attitude from; in any case these people will probably not make anything of themselves in this school.

And I'm too stressed to think of fun creative student-centered activities for them to do in class. Any lessons have to depend on them staying awake too.

And a stupid kid from another class provoked another student this morning and when I helped to push him away from the other guy he challenged me to a fight. Man I was really hoping then that I can get my hands bloody. That will be a good way to vent my frustration.

Yet another school comparison

Let me comment about this letter in the ST forum today, the writer comparing Singapore schools with a UK school that she taught in -

• "The United Kingdom education system inspires and enables the child to learn, builds confidence and nurtures creative thinkers. 'Teaching to test' seems to be the objective of Singapore schools."

This is very true! So what can we all do about it? Nothing at all, unless a change of mindset, along with a change of syllabus etc comes from the top. All schools want to do well so that they will be higher ranked, all teachers want good results to get promoted; therefore there is no way things will change.

• "The class teacher spends considerable time planning and preparing lessons to meet the different needs of the children. No designated textbooks are used.

Not possible. As I explained in a previous post, the time teachers spend on planning lessons is negligible. Again, if we are to put more effort into lesson planning, our work for all other things should be reduced. But then again, schools all want to be higher ranked, teachers all want to excel in their CCAs and committee work etc for better performance grading. Again, things will not be changed.

• "One has to look into how confident, articulate and expressive Singapore pupils are and who does most of the talking in class, the teacher or the pupils?"

Is this a school's problem? I think it is more of a societal problem as a whole. How many of our citizens dare to speak up against injustice, ill-manners, discourteous acts, and wrong-doings? How many of us believe that by speaking out, we can make a difference? The child simply follows what the adults do, which is nothing. School can help to encourage children to speak up, but it will be useless if the rest of society doesn't believe in it.

I like this statement the best -

"I respect the teachers of Singapore who try their very best to deliver the Government's expectations. But it appears that, collectively, society has created a nation that is obsessed with rankings and success."

Patience

It is as I feared - my new normal tech class refused to do work today and got me freaking pissed.

Ok, not all of course. And their refusal may be due to the fact that the paper has quite a lot of questions on one passage, or that it is the last period of the day, or that they are simply not in the mood at that time. Many just say they don't know how to do it when I bugged them, and I shot back at them asking if they even tried. I wanted it to be a CA assignment, but in the end, because half the class copied from each other, I dropped the idea and got the few idiots left to forget about copying the answers to pass to me after the rest of the class was dismissed.

Maybe I got fed up because my imagined scenario really played itself out, because I actually accepted CA work from my other normal tech class even though a lot of them copied from each other too. Or maybe I was just finally fed up with not being able to stop that from happening. It's not as if they will learn anything from copying, so the whole exercise is futile.

Patience. I must remember that these mentally immature kids usually do better with the soft approach; no use scolding and alienating them permanently. Some really do try hard, and I should carry on doing things for them. They are the product of years of mismanagment by their environment, and it will be arrogant for me to think that I can change their behaviour after knowing them for a few days. Just carry on, help those who seek help, in between say a few encouraging words to the recalcitrant few and see whether miracles happen.

I am in school for 12 working hours for the past 3-4 days. But I wouldn't complain working even longer hours if I only had to sit in an office and do paperwork; that is nothing compared to having a bad lesson which makes you feel depressed and useless for the entire freaking day.

Good writing

I chanced upon this entry in A Pedagogue's Progress on my first visit there, and am pleasantly surprised by the read. Learning to read critically, to get past useless words and discern the real meaning and intention behind writings is the most important thing that I acquired from my studies in NUS, and I often sought to practice this skill when reading the Straits Times. It is an entertaining exercise because so much of the writing inside about local events carry hidden significances behind the superficial meanings; noticing what's conspicuously absent is interesting too.

Things that make me angry

Browsing the Straits Times can be unbearable at times. I'm one of maybe ten people on this island who considers the state of prose -- no pun intended -- to be an important barometer of the nation's health and who gets upset by bad writing. Consider this latest egregious specimen, culled from today's Forum page:

As global uncertainties are now greater than ever, I contend that the long-term security and prosperity of Singapore require a shift in paradigm to one in which we cultivate a broad-based pool of highly critical and creative thinkers from multiple disciplines [italics mine].

The author isn't a government official, but he sure does his clichés like our ministries' finest press secretaries. There are six of them in the small sentence above, each a sin against the English language and clear thought. Since I'm in a particularly vicious mood right now -- it is Imagined Community and Manufactured Enthusiasm Day, after all -- I'm actually going to explain what any avid reader of good literature will tell you is self-evident: I'm going to devote time and space to analysing that sentence.

So, "global uncertainties are now greater than ever." Than ever? Ever? Even greater than during the Great Depression, Second World War, Cuban Missile Crisis, 1970s oil crisis, Asian Financial Crisis, general crisis of the 14th century? Every generation takes perverse comfort in reassuring itself that the world is going to hell in a handbasket (a uniquely American term, apparently; I first heard it from Bill Spengemann), but is never able to demonstrate even the slightest ounce of historical judgement required to validate such sweeping, inelegant claims.

Why always talk about "long-term security and prosperity"? Why not just say "future"? More matter with less art.

No no no no no no. Do not ever use paradigm shift unless you have read Thomas Kuhn (I haven't) and know precisely what it means. Even then, it's intellectual pretentious. All that the author is saying is that we ought to think differently. Which is ironic, since he's not doing that at all.

"[B]road-based pool" just doesn't make sense at all. It's an awful metaphor.

Ah, "critical and creative thinkers." And not ordinary ones, but "highly" to boot! (Maybe it's just me, but "highly critical" brings to mind crabby Chinese teachers.) We've abused this catchphrase so much that we no longer have any clear idea what it means, except that it is a Very Good Thing (rather like Democracy in some other places). Seriously now. You can neither legislate morality nor marshal intelligence and intellect to serve the ends of nation-building.

What does the author mean by"multiple disciplines"? Are we talking about scholarly disciplines like Anthropology, Physics, History, Art, and Music here, or pseudo-subjects like Hotel Administration, Event Planning, and Motivational Speaking? Because you aren't going to find very many "highly critical and creative" artists, physicists, musicians, and anthropologists who are willing to hang around in this place. Certainly not when they are only supposed to be contributing to "long-term security and [material] prosperity."

The ideas underpinning the sentence aren't only bad and lacking in analytical rigour; they're also markedly unoriginal: we need more intelligent people to ensure our nation's future. It's common sense (which, as one begins increasingly to realise, isn't very common at all), and the government has been saying it for years. Why has our author cottoned on to this only now?

Sadly, what limited experience (which, "though noon auctoritee / Were in this world, is right ynogh for me") I do have of Singaporean prose suggests that sentences like the above are the norm rather than the exception. I've no way of proving this, of course, to any satisfactory degree, except to say that I don't recall ever reading anything in the local print media that's struck me as really well-written. The best Singaporean prose stylist, as far as I can tell, is Xenoboy, but while the quality of online writing is on the whole much higher, we still have a long way to go before we can match up to the likes of this guy.

Just a sobering thought, this Imagined Community and Manufactured Enthusiasm Day.

Bourne Ultimatum!

I just caught The Bourne Ultimatum on the big screen! It's a great movie, fast-paced and thrilling right to the end. Excuse the shaky camera effect during the fighting and chasing scenes, and you'll have the movie of the year. Go catch it!

A short break...

...that I couldn't really enjoy, that describe these few days past. The thought that I will be teaching another class of English bothered me so much that I never really enjoyed myself these few days. I can only give a turn up the corners of my mouth and give a wan smile when people remarked about this long break.

On Thursday, the Odac people got invited to Skee's place to have steamboat dinner, and I got Emily out early to Kinokuniya to get books at 20% discount. Kundera's The Curtain was the only one I really wanted, since I have got so much stuff at home waiting for my time. It was good for us to meet up and talk again after such a long while, about things in the classrooms and out in the wilderness. I felt much more at ease with myself after relating my plight at having to teach 2 normal tech classes, and realised that my apprehension about it might stem from the fact that teaching these people gets me really depressed. The school gives up on these kids (that's probably why I ended up teaching them), and they probably give up on themselves too; no one can exactly pinpoint the reason why they ended up so weak academically, and to all it seems that hopes on them to do better have already dried up.

On Wednesday, I witnessed 4 of the kids from the 2 classes arguing with the DM, who threatened to sack them for their insolence. They threw up their arms and went "sack sack lah!" and cycled off angrily. The DM had seriously hope that a punch came his way so that he could get them expelled immediately, and the kids probably find no reason to want to stay in school (or do anything while he is in) either. Angry and upset about their attitude towards school and life, how can I change things around? If only I can shout at them to seriously consider their reality and effect a transformation via an revelatory moment - if only it was that easy.

Anyway, here are some pictures of the glorious view of the city from Skee's balcony. I'll take things as they come, in any case. A week at a time.

Fatigue

Tired. Very tired. There are days when events takes up so much time that there's none left to do any work at all, and other days when time is spent chasing after various miscellaneous details at work that nothing really productive gets done. Someone better had the next English unit plan done for me man, cos I ain't have no clue about it at all. This Wednesday I foresee myself staying back at school till late to do work while I can, and I think the break from Thursday to Sunday will be equally hectic for me because there's nothing planned for English yet for the next three weeks. I also have to mentally prep myself with taking over the worst class in school for English from next week on.

Practiced throwing balls at the wall on Wednesday last week, was at the gym on Thursday, polo training on Friday, climbed with Roland (and did an extreme route, still uncompleted) on Saturday, and Sunday had my usual badminton practice and polo training. Today I practiced wushu in school in preparation for ACES day, and my arms ache just to hold them up. Mental fatigue setting in too, feel like I'm not gonna be good for the coming competition cos my mind just isn't that strong and alert to cope.

Expectations

To my 1E1 PE class, who put up a dismal show for the 2.4km run NAPFA retest

"You think that it is unfair that people have high expectations of you? The day no one expects anything of you, you should be sorry for yourself, because that's when no one bothers whether you live or die. You should feel privileged to have peoples' expectations on you - it means that they care about you, and want you to do well. People in the normal tech classes are often there because no one cares about them or expect anything out of them, that is why they cannot see the point of doing anything."

They are a terrible class, this lot. Smart but most of them lack proper values. They question good intentions, barely show enough respect to others, a few Chinese girls blatantly and viciously discriminate against an Indian girl, have not much discipline or any other positive values or virtues. It is a shame that kids nowadays can turn out like this, and I see it as my mission to make sure they don't turn out to become intelligent and immoral beings.

An die Musik

Today was a shitty day. Very shitty. My bosses intend to screw up my timetable big time and asking me to do ridiculous things which are not normally justifiable. It was also the first time that I have to take over English remedial classes for another teacher.

I looked at the crew of students looking at me, not knowing what to expect. I thought I felt a hint of apprehension in the air. Ah what the hell, I can't do miracles, especially not for a subject like English, so I might as well take it slow. I did an impromptu self-introduction exercise with them, told them about the story of how I arrived here standing in front of them teaching English, and went on to explain how I think language learning is like. I think it struck a chord with them when I told them I never speak English to friends till I got to JC, and how I still cannot explain grammar rules technically.

Nearing the end of our session, I heard Bach! Pure unadulterated Bach, on a solo instrument, which I first thought was the horn but later realised was the saxophone (the fellow could run up and down the scales easily, and that will be a bit hard to do on the horn). Methodically, he went through the cello suites from the first prelude of the first suite, pass all the other five movements, on to the next suite. I can't wait for the session to end to discover the musician's identity.

It was a boy in the uniform! He said he only picked up the instrument since sec 1, and 3 years on he actually went out to buy the cello suites on his own accord, and practiced by himself, all alone in an empty classroom. That is simply awesome, to find a kid who can get this passionate in this school.

And I am reminded of this poem by Franz Von Schober, which describes how music, at the most unexpected moment, can lift our spirits.

An Die Musik

Du holde Kunst, in wieviel grauen Stunden,
Wo mich des Lebens wilder Kreis umstrickt,
Hast du mein Herz zu warmer Lieb entzunden,
Hast mich in eine beßre Welt entrückt!

Oft hat ein Seufzer, deiner Harf' entflossen,
Ein süßer, heiliger Akkord von dir
Den Himmel beßrer Zeiten mir erschlossen,
Du holde Kunst, ich danke dir dafür!

To Music

Oh sacred art, how oft in hours blighted,
While into life's untamed cycle hurled,
Hast thou my heart to warm love reignited
To transport me into a better world!

So often has a sigh from thy harp drifted,
A chord from thee, holy and full of bliss,
A glimpse of better times from heaven lifted.
Thou sacred art, my thanks to thee for this.

Potential

I took the 2 NA classes for NAPFA 2.4km run retest today.

There's this boy 'S' in the first class who is notorious for his behaviour - talking back and confronting teachers, not complying with instructions, not doing work in class. I argued with him a few times during Practicum too, and rarely can I get him to produce any work for my literature class then. He hangs out with 2 other kids who are only slightly less to deal with; the three often wander around during PE by themselves, or talk together in class. The last NAPFA test, they missed it because they were detained for coming late to school, then went to classroom and slacked while waiting for the rest to return.

This morning, they took the run test for the first time. Amazingly, S went running from the start and never stopped, while his silly friend took a shortcut, tried running backwards, and played the fool. S eventually came back first in the detail with a very respectable time.

Me and the other teacher can't help but urged him on every round, and when he ended the run I went over to commend him on his effort. In the manner of a serious athlete, he said he doesn't as well as before, since he hasn't been running for a long while. I figured that perhaps he used to be in the running team of his primary school.

Might this be the only thing in his life that he is willing to be serious about? Their English teacher once told me that he lost both his parents, and probably have no idea why he should be disciplined or doing anything good in school. How can I help, I wonder.

PE teachers are the busiest teachers

I have been nursing a sore throat since last week, and it has developed into a dry cough and now cough with phlegm there but not coming out. Coupled with a runny nose, it signaled that my allergic symptoms are back again. I actually took time out to call the TCM clinic to try make an appointment again.

Anyway, I recently came to a revelation - PE teachers are the busiest teachers in school, contrary to popular notions that we are all jocks with too much free time and little marking to do. This false belief have always made some teachers jealous and others scornful of us, and frequently lead to the exploitation of PE teachers to do work unrelated to our profession.

Consider this if you are a teacher - how much of your time outside of the classroom is devoted to planning your lessons? Very little I assume. You probably slave a bit over the SOW during the holidays, but after that, with all the resources and lesson plans ready, you can go into class after printing the necessary worksheets etc. Teachers share the SOW planning work load too, so maybe 10-20% of your time is spent here.

Most of us will agree that what really sucks up a teacher's time is doing administrative matters. I do not begrudge the fact that we have to do it, for a lot of the work contributes to students' learning (by organising activities out of the classroom etc) or contribute in making the work environment better (staff activities, training issues etc). A necessary evil really.

If creating programs and organising activities takes up the bulk of work time, then the PE teacher must be the busiest person! No other department can boost of organising so many different varied activities on such a regular basis. Right now, I am arranging/monitoring/supervising programs for TAF club, Sports Education Program activities, Post-Exam activities, ACES day event, NAPFA testing, Cherish and SEM report contribution, just to name those I can remember off the cuff.

So, respect your PE teacher as the ultimate multi-tasker!

A note on safety

I saw on the news the other day a parliament member talking about how kayaking safety measures are being reviewed, in response to a drowning case a while back when a man who didn't know how to swim drowned after he capsized and he was swimming around before his PFD slipped off him. She mentioned that demarcation area signages will be made more prominent etc, and the newspapers promptly reported her speech too.

Recently, I was made aware that we PE teachers cannot use the hall for wet weather activities during recess during the TAF club sessions, as a kid apparently got a gash on his head while playing there recently. The teacher who told me was baffled by the decision (as was I), as it doesn't seem to us that playing anywhere else will be safer.

What's the connection between the two? In both instances, people of authority devised spurious measures as a knee-jerk reaction to accidents. They know nuts about the incident, probably think it is inevitable in their heart, but still have to put in place some measures to show that steps are being taken to prevent future incidents from occurring. Of course, in many cases, these measures are utterly ridiculous and does nothing to help at all. How does staying within the demarcation area help save that man's life? It's not as if someone at Water venture could get on the water in time to help if the paddlers had stayed within the space, given that the man apparently bobbed below and never appeared again.

Such examples are everywhere and they make me sick - when silly people make useless decisions in the aftermath of an accident only for the sake of show. It seems like in Singapore, everyone in power are anxious to protect themselves against liabilities, that they often lose track of the real objective and instead uses diplomatic responses to avert responsibility.

Monday in an hour's time...

Sunday always leave me somewhat stressed - I wake up with the knowledge that the next day is Monday. Then I have badminton session from 3pm to 5pm, after which I have to make a trip down to NTU immediately for polo training till 10pm. Finally I have to rush back home and straight to bed because there isn't much time to sleep. I look forward to my games but it's all pretty stressful to pack them like this at the tail end of the week. Hardly felt like I rested.

Must I give up any of these?

Very, very busy...

I am fighting to stay ahead of deadlines, leave adequate time to plan respectable lessons and also do the things I personally want, like carrying through plans for my CCA. I'll definitely have to work late into the night through the weekends this week, and probably skip Sunday's polo training.

Anyway, my birthday was over yesterday, and what a day it was. I was forced by my Principal to go for the convocation in NTU, wear some rridiculous costume, wait for 758 people to shake hands and receive an empty folder from someone I don't know (and don't care to know), before I go up to do that myself. The PE cohort put on its best rowdy behaviour as usual, and clapped loudly for everyone in the cohort when it was our turn; many probably wondered why we had to behave like that, but I felt that it showed our support for each other and pride in our profession.

Then I had to go back school for an EPMS briefing. That's basically the system in which all teaching staff will be evaluated with, and my VP gave us a very convincing talk that clarified many things for us. For example, a D grade doesn't fail a teacher but no bonus is given because bonuses are supposed to be awarded to encourage effort beyond what is expected, and that grade will block promotion for 2-3 years because a teacher who is deemed to just be able to handle that certain amount of work at that level will not be able to take on extra responsibilities required at the next higher grade. It makes a lot of sense, though I think kiasu Singaporeans just cannot stand getting a 'D' for anything, or not get bonuses and promotions when many others do. I have to admit that I will feel bad if I get a 'D' too.

And for the day, I had Swensens for lunch, Sakae Sushi for tea and Thai food at some small restaurant at Compasspoint. A bit too much good food for just a single day, and then tonight I am going Crystal Jade after polo training with the guys - July will feed me very well, and possibly make me quite broke too...

Canteen break contributes to obesity?

I think a lot of schools have this practice of getting overweight students to do some physical activity during recess time to help them lose weight. They are not the only ones who does activities though - lots of boys (esp the lower sec students) will play football, basketball, catching, hide and seek, while the girls largely congregate in the canteen to talk, but perhaps only half of them buy something to eat or drink.

Teachers are always doing more of anything than the students, and none of us eat during recess, usually having our meals after 1.30pm after school ends. On some days, I cycle hard to school, run around prepare my lessons, execute 2 hours of PE lessons, and prepare/teach English too before having some food. If there's really no need to eat during recess, does that means that we are actually encouraging overeating (and eating at irregular hours) by giving them a food break at 10-11am?

Sports coaching lesson assessment

Just in case people think that I am terribly biased against paddling coaches from a certain organisation, let me show some simple assessment methods taught in NIE for us to assess a PE lesson.

Quantitative methods- distribution of time

• Instructional/management/motor engaged time

Qualitative - lesson delivery

• Appropriate teaching style
• Activity suitability
• Lesson progression
• Selection and reinforcement of learning points
• Quality of demonstration
• Meeting students' need and expectation
• Use of questions for understanding
• Questioning technique
• Type, frequency and quality of feedback.

How does the paddling coaches from over there measure up? They will fail horribly if their lesson is assessed in quantitative terms by measuring up their management time (undesirable) against the student's active learning time (the more the better).

Qualitative assessment will show that they do have the content, but the teaching is atrocious. Objective of skills are often not clarified, they jump from teaching one skill to another without revealing reason, relevance or relationship, they either say too little or say too much without using keywords, students' expectations (most of the time it means 'having fun') are definitely not met, questions not asked and technique on questioning clearly not understood, feedback non-existent or negative (it often sounds like praise but you can tell the insincerity), and the language used is poor, authoritative, condescending and unbecoming of instructors.

Now, let them try to prove it to me otherwise.

The dismal paddling class part 2

Finally, the 2 star course was over last Sunday. I went for the class with the kids feeling less outraged because I am resigned to the fact that the school had already wasted money on the course, though the kids probably treasure the memories of the experience fondly all the same.

It really baffles me how hypocritical these coaches can be. In the past, they used to slime instructors on my side, taking the high ground and saying that their courses are safer and are of a higher standard. Yet, safety for them is really just an excuse for poor classroom management and plain laziness to allow full participation of the class (which will require their full attention to supervise.) Take their kayak-to-swimmer rescue practice for example, taught shoddily with a dismissive attitude for the value of the skill, neglecting to explain the basic principles in performing a rescue, and managed unsafely. Kids swim out in a row close together, and boats went to them in swarms weaving around the bobbing human heads. I asked the instructor why they weren't spread out a distance apart, and she said "I told them so, but they just don't listen", and went back to staring at them. They simply can't be bothered to make sure swimmer-kayaker paddle in 'lanes' safely without obstructing or colliding with others at all.

Time wasting is rampant as usual - new instructor who came in to take over another from last week asked the students if they had done rescue practice already, to which the students said yes. Still, she got them to do it one more round all the same, and wasted even more time by asking a pair to do demonstration first. And she barked at the kids to "shut up and just watch", and that's something no proper teacher would say.

They can't be bothered to coach too. Same coach wanted to demonstrated the bow rudder but turned her boat fully with a sweep stroke before putting in the rudder, which got a student to ask what the stroke is for (because she obviously didn't used that to achieve the effect). When I questioned her, she said, "Oh it's not important for them to learn the stroke now, they don't need to understand it fully. They only need to know show the stroke...". I paraphrased for her - "So they just need to go through the motion lah..." She got defensive and started telling me all about how it is only an introduction to the skill at this stage blah blah blah. My fellow colleague on the course feedbacked that to the club manager, who chose to defend his coach by saying the same thing. So they are either dishonest to their ethics as a coach or simply couldn't be bothered to be a good one.

Fed up with their unwillingness to teach, I went around the groups teaching and demonstrating where I can. The manager actually had the cheek to tell me during lunch break that the coaches complained that I have been interfering with their lessons, that I can add on to their teaching perhaps after the session, and that I am disrupting their lesson plans. Coincidentally, all learning stopped very soon after lunch because of the dark foul weather, making the coaches abandon their feeble attempts at instructing. Someone up there must have been listening to me.

Things come at a price...

My HOD is off for her course already, and wouldn't be back for 4 months. Before she left, she gave each of us in the department a long list of things which she needs us to settle in her absence. I got 2 lists from her, one for duties in the PE department and one for taking charge of Odac in her absence. It was a lengthy meeting then, with me trying hard to take note of the things she mentioned, especially with the accounts.

That was the start of the stress. I hate to have things left undone and waiting to be tied up, so everyday I look at the task list and try to make progress, but I find it hard to finish a proposal or settle a training schedule decisively. There is a multitude of possibilities in these planning, and it is hard to weight all of them, see if they fit into the scheme of things, and also logistically and financially possible. Worse, I loathe to think that my failure to settle them fast might be because I am incapable of making important decisions and the courage to exercise the right to have the final say in things.

I always thought that I am pretty good at handling paperwork because of my impatience to finish things up, but it turns out that settling them might be harder than I thought. I also realised that a leadership position in school requires the appointment holder to be part of many committees, initiatives and taskforces, and the work probably never let up. The workload really goes up with the pay man. It's making me tentative about pursuing the leadership track in MOE already...

The sad state of paddling instructions

I had to follow my Odac kids along for their one and two star courses at Changi this weekend, and it was tortuous, to see proud incompetent fools wasting the school's money by giving pathetic paddling instructions. It is sad because this method of teaching is being perpetuated by the sea sports clubs since generations ago and will probably persist unless Water Venture collapses and ceases operation; otherwise these arrogant fools will go on to teach new batches of incompetent coaches who have no idea how poor their coaching is.

I am disagreeable with a hell lot of what they did over the past 2 days, but these are the things that irritates the hell out of me most -

• 2 star course spends the entire first day revising 1 star skill - bloody waste of time. And the instructors don't even teach or give feedback, just asking them to show, and largely sitting back. Today 1 star the whole morning was spent on rescue, which was covered yesterday too. The teaching was apparently not over as they were still giving instructions when it should be a practice session, and many things were left unsaid such that the teaching was less than satisfactory.
  
• Inexplicably, the kids were asked frequently to come back on shore when the instructors want to teach new skills. Why can't they do it on the water? It doesn't even feel like a kayaking course.
  
• Primitive coaching content - they still teach sculling draw by asking kids to draw 'figure 8' in the water, which is useless and totally different from what the stroke should be like. One star coaches teach climbing in method for rescue when using large touring boats, and wonder why some kids can't do it (this technique is more suitable for low volume crafts).
  
• Instructor never taught the kids to disembark, kids came in together in a crowd, got pushed sideways by the breaking waves, with the coach in front of them persistently shouting commands (no sense of shame is detected in them for neglecting to teach!).
• This coach finished his one star skill revision with his group and had the kids sit on the beach watch the rest for more than half an hour till it's time to go back.
• Coaches all like to fold their arms, bark out short abrupt lines which gives no pretense to be considered coaching instructions, and does not bother with asking questions for learning.
  
• Group management takes up most of the time for both courses - for the one star, the coaches each have one kayak which they hold still in shallow water, and got the kids to clamber up one by one to show that they can recover back into the boat during rescue exercises. Effectively, that means that out of 4 hours, the activity time for each kid is 10 minutes of so.

And that's only for the first day. I was freaking irritated after the day and now hereby resolve that while I am in this school, no coaches except those that I trust will take my kids for courses. These fools think the world of themselves as paddling coaches but do not realise that under assessment by any PE-trained person, their courses will fail miserably. If you are a PE teacher, please think twice before sending your kids to these courses, contact me and I will give you my advice.

Where is the heart to want to share the passion for paddling, to infect the kids with a love of the water because it is fun? All these people want is to show off their own abilities and status as a coach (I don't know to whom, because to any discerning person, they are all terrible teachers), and probably treat anything else such as the teaching of skills to kids as obligations. Ignorant, arrogant fools!