Teachers' Day

This is a day which makes me wonder if, as Prufrock said, "would it have been worth it, after all", to stay as a teacher for long. The kids suddenly all become angelic and nice on the day, and everyone is in some sort of airy-fairy mood.

I must have the weirdest response to the day. As with last year, I start the day pondering about the significance of the day, if we teachers are really the miracle workers we are said to be (everyone will like us to be, but most of the time they are sorely disappointed). When students come up to give me cards or presents, I feel an immense sense of embarrassment, and receiving anything at all makes me wonder if I deserve it. At the same time, I am very appreciative of their small gestures but do not know how to show it except to say the obligatory 'thank you' to students. I wonder how they feel, overcoming shyness to get something for a teacher, standing up from the class line and approaching the teacher, pass over the gift and only hearing a 'thank you' and a sheepish smile from the teacher, before going back to the class wondering if it was worth all the effort.

I believe in the transformative power of teachers, and I think it is a good occasion after all, to have one day when people remember our efforts. I just think that perhaps I'm too embarrassed by such public display of affections on the day.

Guard your own thoughts

Mr Brown recently noticed that headlines in the Straits Times online portal changes real fast. On an article on the current inflation rate, there were 2 changes to the headlines within the hour or so, each sounding more positive with every revision.

A reader with real insight commented there:

"Nowadays all the bad news becomes good news.

GST to help the poors.
ERP helps u own cars.
Less pay will retain jobs.
Frozen meat is good for health.

This country is evolving to a paradise.
Deities and angels are migrating over here."

This is what Orwell warned us about in 1984, how the political like to encourage 'doublethink'. In fact, doublespeak is everywhere in our dear local paper, with the negative negated and changed to reflect a dubious positive.

I think I should start teaching students how to read newspapers critically in my classes so that they don't end up being dumb citizens without opinions and critical thought.

The limits to knowledge

Here's a piece of food for thought: Isn't it significant that most of us do not understand much of the concepts and history behind the marvels of our everyday lives like inventions and cultural ideals? What does this say about mankind in this current age and time?

I think that is the reason why people are more and more disinterested in understanding the world (urban or natural) intimately, and only interested in hedonistic pleasures and specialised knowledge that can at least comfort us and make us feel less idiotic.

On a related note, I really feel that students nowadays are less curious about things and events, and loses interest in things that they are initially amazed by. Or maybe it's just students in my school.

The weekend

The weekend might be sweet or sour, but without doubt, it's definitely short.

Saturday was sweet. Slept in late, woke up to read the papers and then we're off bouldering at climbasia. It's definitely a better place to climb, at least the tiles are placed with some thought and not done randomly. If I start to go there more regularly, think I should begin my habit of filming routes once again.

Then it was off to Ritz-Carlton, where a room is booked for the viewing of fireworks in the evening.

The view from the toilet is actually very nicely framed - it will be quite a treat to lounge in the bathtub with champagne and watching the fireworks I guess!

We had dinner at Marina Square's Azabu Sabo, which was overpriced with small portions and does a terrible teriyaki chicken bento (Please try MOF@My Izakaya instead). Owing to the light drizzle, the fireworks' smoke lingered low above the parade stands and dimmed much of the sparkle that was created. Actually, I can't say I enjoy it very much. They are just bursts of lights that comes and go, and its ephemeral nature makes it insignificant to me.

Next morning, the breakfast buffet at the restaurant was excellent. I could find nothing to complain about, and it was the most sumptuous breakfast spread I ever had.

We had a seat at the full length glass wall, and could see all the greenery outside while eating and reading the newspapers, and that is the best experience of a hotel stay IMO.

But by then, it is already Sunday. Dread came and troubled me from the moment we left the hotel. Back at home, I had to work, and didn't really feel wasting time playing my polo friendly game that night. I went nonetheless, but left hurriedly at ten.

Midway through the game, I was thinking that finally, this year might really be the last year I'm going to commit myself to polo. My alumni team doesn't go for training anymore, and I can't fit into the junior team currently due to difference in ideas. I think I lost the passion to want to go down constantly every week to train the new batch too. During supper, a teammate said that he is going to San Francisco for work for a year - yet again confirming that my team will probably play its last competition this year. Time to move on perhaps...

Planning for medical leave

I got my voice hoarse yesterday, and wanted to give school a miss later. Although there isn't much that's happening in the classroom for me tomorrow, it sure doesn't feel good to be sniffing and coughing and grunting when I want to speak to people.

But then I realised that my CCA will need help because one of the teacher has been on MC a few days for sore throat already, and my guess is that she is not going to come tomorrow. The club have to plan for an event too, and cannot run tomorrow's session on one teacher alone (my HOD is also away). I don't want to kill my colleague by throwing everything to him, and now decided that I should go after all.

And then my teacher's day dinner is happening tonight too. I would really want to skip it as I'm in no mood for fun or food or whatever nonsense that it will throw up. Honestly I hate it, because for the event I was asked to plan a stupid game which is so totally not fun and against the spirit of a Teacher's Day. Would I be able to leave school after my CCA to get an MC just to skip the dinner? Is it worth it? Is it even possible? Or should I just bear with it and grin?

So damn irritating right. To be genuinely sick but cannot even take an MC because you're too considerate.

Paddle monster

I broke another paddle again! Was practicing to floop in the T1 yesterday when that happened. I bounced and jumped over, and while I pushed on the paddle underwater to force my legs over, it broke cleanly at the shaft. All in all, I killed about 4-5 paddles already. Hope my Werner will never meet such a fate. Anyway, how am I supposed to playboat now? Have to get something fixed up again - I loath to buy a new paddle just for the occasional playboat practice. I'm very near to nailing the floop in the T1, will want to keep on trying.

Had throat inflammation and seen the doctor for medication and a MC yesterday. Now I'm slacking at home not really doing anything, nor did I particularly enjoy this break. But guess it's just good to not have to shout at people in school. Man, just breathing in smoke from the kitchen already irritates my throat to no end.

Much to do before the holidays. Damn other teachers can go on leave from Nov 15, and I'll be doing CCA events and trips till end Nov. I need a good recharge then.

An ideal place

The keys to my new place will come before October!

It's pretty exciting to know that it's within reach, though I had to wipe out almost every penny in my accounts for it. We're still at the stage of conceptualising how the place should look like. For now, we know we wanna build a raised platform to elevate the balcony, have some simple shelf for the TV and show off the wall instead of having a huge TV console or having a feature wall fashionable nowadays. The utility room besides the door will be my gear room, we'll have the bedroom (she's designing it) and also a study with my books and CDs taking pride of place (I'm doing that instead).

What should I do with the extra room?

• Music room - somewhere for me to scratch my violin in?
• Bouldering gym - build a simple wall with tiles and all?
• Mess-ing room - a place for me to do any work that requires things to be sprawled all over?

Or maybe all my sporting gears will just spill over into this room haha.

Send in your suggestions to me!

Paddling the North

Last Sunday I did a paddling recce, intending to start paddling from this ulu jetty I saw just beside the causeway. But apparently there's no access to it, and I ended up starting at Sembawang park.

It is a blessing in disguise - the environment was comfortable and we have lots of space to setup the boats. We even ordered Mac breakfast and had it while we build up the boats! We attracted loads of attention from kids, adults, and some cycling groups there.

Finally, out on the water at 11am. Somehow the boat don't seem that long when I'm sitting inside it. It's great to start paddling off after some hard work on the boats!

Sembawang WaterVenture Club, supposedly an empty shell right now. Enric remarked that there's nothing happening there at the moment, but I pointed out all the anglers standing at the slipway fishing away.

He's right to point out that the green Nautiraid goes with the green shaft on the Epic. He said I'll look nicer with his hat and PFD too, but I really don't need to be colour coordinated on the water...

It's always fun to paddle in the rain! The drizzle lasted less than half an hour, but the cloudy skies made it a comfortable paddling day. Pulau Punggol Barat is on starboard, no landing there. I wonder what's on it...

We took a turn into Punggol River, and went in all the way to Fernvale. The water cleanliness wasn't as bad as I thought, and it is quite spacious out there on the river. It's always nice to paddle into the midst of urbanity. I will imagine that I am introducing surprise into the routine lives of passerbys and make them smile at seeing adventurous spirit.

And where possible, we explored small 'creeks' along the river channels, not knowing where they lead us...

It was said quite a while back that paddlers could no longer go between the mainland and Coney Island, but we decided to find out for ourselves nonetheless, after rounding Punggol Jetty. We went all the way in, and true enough, we hit the barrage. Well, no other thing to do but to go across. We cut across the construction site there wanting to go to the beachfront on the other side, but was lazy to walk the way and decided to just launch from the seawall, certainly a tricky move, and a first for me. Not before we finished a packet of Ruffles chips first!

Enric was happy that he didn't slip into the water butt-first...

We finally reached Changi at around 6pm. Took turns to pack the boats and shower, and went for nasi lemak. A nice way to spend the weekend - I really should do this more often, even if there's not much left of Singapore waterways that is left to be explored (without permissions and permits and licenses et cetera).

Parents parents parents

Well after my last post about calling parents up, it's a coincidence that I had to attend this MOE course on 'Relating well with parents in the school context' yesterday. Nothing much about it - the speaker just try to convince us that it is good to establish partnership etc. I posed my questions about what teachers should expect parents to do, and the answer is basically that we lay out the consequences of negative actions to them, and try to suggest solutions.

Today, one of my kid's parents have to come down to school for interview too. Kid feels restricted and wants to rebel, and parents feel outraged and goes down harder on poor kid. In such a battle, it is really hard for them to see the good things in each other's actions and intentions, and so the domestic battle will probably lasts. Sigh. What to do?

Again, teaching in a neighbourhood school makes me realise that there are many families in Singapore who are ill-prepared for parenthood in different ways, and the child's behaviour and academic performance reflects that.

And because of this, I think many teachers are not really supportive of the government's idea of wanting to boost birth rates, unless Singaporeans becomes more sensible parents and have the means to support their child in all ways.

I want to think

I miss the feeling of being intelligent, to be pondering about philosophical issues and to wrestle with meaning and definition of abstract concepts.

I'm just a bloody robot now who mainly slaves at routine work, or struggles unsuccessfully to design good lessons.

Calling parents

Man I hate to talk to parents on the phone. I think it stems from the fact that unless I'm calling up friends, I really hate having phone conversations with strangers. You have to consider what you say real fast, and it really is a real pain to me. This is especially so when I have to talk to parents, when I have to be tactful at all times.

Calling them is bad, can you imagine how much worse it is for them to call me? Usually they are complaint calls, or calls from parents who want to find out where their kids are. In the latter case, you'll have to go run around school asking if anyone detained the class etc etc, then call the parent back again, a pure waste of time and energy. Can you imagine running up and down 4 floors and around the school just because of one call, and if you get several calls in a day?

But then, I have teachers around me who will compile lists of misbehaving students, or students who do not pay attention in class, and call up their parents one by one to talk about it. It's really amazing, this effort; I can't find any reason for doing that myself. I mean, what do you expect the parents to do? Scold them one more round at home (and make the kid bitter about you)? Offer advices on parenting or disciplining children? I think seeing parents twice a year during parent-teacher meetings is enough for me to dispense whatever advice I have for them, thank you.

Kids are kids la, if they are not well brought up they will just need daily reminders from you to keep in line. If the parents having been bringing them up well, what makes you think your phone-call intervention is going to help the situation?

Northern Exposure III

It was real exciting for me to attending this concert yesterday, to hear 3 of the Sibelius's best symphonies, including the penultimate 7th.

I bought fourth row seats, and it was really close to the stage. The first row is probably like a metre away from the violinists' feet, so I'm not too far away too. It was quite an interesting experience though, to hear and see the violins up close. Indeed, it is quite fascinating to see how Sibelius gave the parts to the different strings, and I got to hear many different sounds that my recording could not afford me.

The brass and the woodwinds came up from above the cloud of stringed voices, and I had to pay special attention to them to catch their moments. The horns were quite impressive, and they surmounted the technical challenges well to deliver a tremendous sound.

I didn't exactly take to Lim Yau's interpretations, but it was a great experience still. I haven't been going for concerts for quite a while already, and needed performances like these to remind me that the live experience is still worth going for.

Priorities

Was just thinking a friend after badminton that I have no time to seriously consider my new place's renovation plans, and he thinks I should re-prioritise the things I spend time on.

It has been at the back of my mind, but I could never force myself to consider it seriously...abandon my weekly sports sessions to do other things.

I go for them religiously because I'm quite positively addicted to them. It just feels shiok, and it is nice to be able to look forward them whenever I am swamped with work. It motivates me to finish my stuff fast so that I can go play in peace.

But yah, I'll get 3-4 hour of time on certain weekdays if I forego my sessions and spend the time planning for my new place seriously. That is, of course, if I can concentrate solely on that and not end up doing other things like school work or netsurfing...

So many things to do...planning colours, materials, layout, furniture...finding and deciding on contractors etc etc. I will be busy with school all the way till end November, and it'll be too late to start thinking about these then!

Sigh...even if I want to give up something...what will it be?

A great Saturday

I had a great day yesterday enjoying myself with different activities. And guess what, towards the end of it I unwittingly dampened my mood by thinking of my next work week and making myself anxious for no good reason. Nonetheless, it was a good day of boating, shopping and eating!

My polo juniors have to conduct an orientation session for a camp, and I took the chance to go playboating at the dive pool. We took some nice clear shots of us playing from underwater, and it looks really interesting. Here a clip of my roll after a failed floop attempt.



And here is an underwater view of a party trick in action.



After a back-breaking session, we had lunch and took the train across the island to go for the Library book sale. It was really cool, $1 for each book! Found quite a few paddling books too, but it all adds up to only 10 books in the end for me.

Finally, it was dinner at Din Tai Fung before watching The Dark Knight. Can someone enlighten me on these points?

1. Why can't Batman just let the Joker fall to his death? That will be the end of further mischief from him. After all, it's a war out there, and many good men have been sacrificed already as it is.
   
2. Why does that stupid police officer have to post himself in the interrogation room with the Joker after Batman left?
3. Why does Batman have to shoulder the blame for the people that Harvey Bent killed? No one knew who did it anyway, and the police can easily attributed it to any of the bad guys.

It was good overall, but I think there's too many minor climaxes scattered in the story, such that there is no culminating scene to end it all. It was a little anti-climatic to have the story end with Harvey being bumped off the building.

Are we missing out on life?

When is the last time yelp out a shout of joy?

When you couldn't sleep in excited anticipation of a great experience?

Shouldn't we live for epiphanic moments?

NUS

After some silly training course today at the NTU Alumni clubhouse (which is at Buona Vista, not NTU), I went over to NUS to have lunch. I miss the Japanese food store at Science faculty, and 3 years since I graduated, the store has been taken over by another vendor, but my food was nice still.

I don't miss NUS per se, but the memories I have of my studies and stay there is indelible. Strangely, the most poignant thing I can remember is of myself walking alone all around the campus. Going to Arts faculty from my residence, traversing the multitude of stairs scarring the landscape. Taking the bus to Science faculty or NUH just for the food. Wandering up and down among the library shelves alone for hours.

Especially in my last year, solitude is the most significant thing that I experienced. I spent countless hours cooped up in my room facing my laptop, doing work, surfing around the net, and listening to music endlessly. Most people work till late at night, and I was no exception, churning out essays or cramming for exams till daybreak. And I spend many hours too among the fascinating books in the library, sometimes devouring books on my research list but often also browsing books on disparate subjects out of interest. I am just as likely to borrow books on literary criticism as essays on music and the arts, or sociological texts.

But there were much fun moments with ODAC people too, and it was intellectually exciting for me to conceive and plan for a great presentation for my literature modules - I can even get insomnia thinking about my presentation the next day! I made new friends in my lit honours class, and we hang out together at the Arts canteen sharing insider jokes and talk arty-farty about the latest critical theory terminology bandied around the tutorial room.

Those were the days.

Moving on...

A close friend of mine in the polo team just decided to move on in life and pursue other activities. Now it seems like I'm the only one among the seniors who is willing to stay on to develop and play with the team.

He was a player with great vision. He could assess game play and come up with countering tactics, devise set attack plans for us to develop our attacking skills repertoire, and have a commanding presence on the water. During competitions, he could point out the strategies of the other team and suggest ideas to mess up their play. I was most impressed with his vision in a training match when we played against the junior team and their coach (a national player). He was holding the ball as the playmaker, while I drifted in and inexplicable decided to try screening off the coach playing outside defence. Coupled with a successful tackle-overload, a goal was scored. He paddled by and applauded my move, and I was amazed that he actually noticed my action and how it created the scoring opportunity - that is how sharp he is in his vision of the playing field.

I saw him yesterday night on the streets, and asked him about coming down; he said it's time he moved on to try new things in life. I felt a sense of loss then, to see a player leaving the team, though it is an inevitable decision that has to happen some time. It is sad that we have to give up things in life to move on, and I wonder when will it be my turn to do the same.

I think when the new batch of juniors come in in August I'll be motivated to be down to coach them. I'll carry on my playing career as long as this current team stays intact.

The joy of coaching

I taught a 13 year old to do hand rolls! As mentioned previously, it's a joy for me to teach paddling to my kids the way I want it, and after getting them to do lots of hipflick exercises, I got them going into trying paddle rolls. 2 of them managed to perform the brace roll on the 3rd day, and after demonstrating the hand roll to them in the last half hour of the course, I thought, heck it's probably easy enough too. The 13 year old tried twice and got it afterwards, with a back-lying recovery. His senior could only get used to the forward recovery style I have been teaching all the way, and couldn't make himself lie back, but he's almost on the way to performing the much harder forward-recovery handroll too!



It reminds me of the joy of coaching paddling again - I will want to do more such courses again!

Hope

Is it in everyone to always hope for something better than their current realities?

Yesterday the week started after a long weekend with Youth Day giving us a day's break more. But I spent those 3 days coaching my kids in paddling. I was quite happy doing the course with my buddies, having meals with them and working together, and also for the fact that I was coaching an advanced class where I can have a free hand in the program and not make myself teach to a syllabus. I am proud that by the 3rd day, 2 of my students could do hand and paddle rolls, and everyone gained much water confidence and had fun throughout too.

But ultimately, it was draining for me. I reached home feeling lethargic and slept very early each day. I had to face this week with minimal work done throughout the weekend. It was with a sense of dread that Tuesday came round. Things went smoothly and jobs done on time upon demand, but still my mind could not rest and gain satisfaction. Always, the anxiety of living at such a fast pace and juggling so many things leaves me edgy.

Overall, it seems that there are not many days in my job when I did not try looking into the future to see if there is a better path to take in a few years' time. I need to know that I'm slaving for something better. Already, it has been long since I sought self-improvement for myself in terms of upgrading my skills or gaining new experiences.

I don't want to let my time drain away doing petty things daily. We all can do more to help ourselves and others! I want to believe...

I want my food!

I hate the days when I can't even find time to eat proper lunch, and unfortunately most of the days are like this. You are busy till school ends and even then you will still be busy. Meetings are the more irritating things to go for, and they can call them whatever they like (contact time, sharing sessions etc), but they are mostly time-wasting affairs. A lot of days, there's no food left to buy at the canteen by the time I have time to eat.

Teaching is so unhealthy for you. You lose your voice, get high blood pressure, stand for far too long, have reduced sleep and rest, and don't eat proper and regular meals.