Should you depend on the external for happiness?

I had 2 great PE lessons today!

I took the pain to split them my class into their groups and brief them about all the routines that they will be doing for all lessons last week, so as to make sure this week's lessons will go smoothly. In the morning, I took time to sort them out again, make sure they go for their warmup lap orderly, and start all activities briefings only after everyone is settled. They had fun trying out different things and I didn't had to waste their time organising them and slowing down the flow and momentum of the lesson. All that made my day.

And I wonder if it's a good thing to be excited by the success of my lessons, because it also means I'll be negatively affected if I don't have a successful lesson (and I have pretty high standards for myself). The alternative is to be the cool/cold teacher who is detached and unaffected by his performance at work, which probably translate to a lack of enthusiasm in teaching. Sometimes I wish to be the latter, but I'm plainly too excitable and emotionally involved really, which makes it really draining when things don't go the way I want.

I love to be the involved teacher, but it drains so much from me. That's why I think good teachers that lasts like that for long are really really rare.

---

Postscript - 5th Feb

Things didn't go as smoothly today, it took a long time for me to get them organised, even though I improved on my 'script' and clarified my instructions. Things still work but just not efficiently. So that's how it is, ups and downs, and one just have to take it all I guess. Just wondering sometimes when I'll take it until...