Looking through appearances

Regrettably, I got to know my Principal and Vice-Principal better through recent events, and I don't like what I see behind the facade.

I was in consultation with my HOD regarding my work review yesterday. Apparently, impressions left behind from 2 past lesson observations clouded the VP's judgment so much that she rated me unreasonably for a few 'intangible qualities', which is not objective and totally unrelated to the conclusions she had drawn then.

For example, she believed that where 'subject mastery' is concerned, I am deemed to be at a 'developing' stage still as I did not exhibit good classroom management skills (which I beg to differ actually). These 2 qualities have totally no bearing on each other, and I was so agitated about it that I told my HOD my version of things, to the extent that eventually she conceded and moved me up a grade there.

But the damage is done. It is a personal affront for me to have to defend my personal qualities against others' words, because I live by my strong principles and I am honest about myself. So that's how a work review is like. You rate yourself lower and they concur with you. You rate yourself higher and you will be asked to defend yourself. It is insulting to me that my HOD gave me a pop quiz about PE related issues, in that way trying to show me that I am not as good as I said I am. I had expected her to be better than this, but I don't hold it against her. It's the VP's words versus mine.

Today, I submitted an MC to the Principal, and she goes: "I am very concerned about your high MC rate, and I am seriously monitoring it...". I was stunned - hello, this is my first MC from a clinic! Previously I was on hospitalisation leave for 5 days, and can that be helped? She went on: "For a young officer, I don't expect that from you...normal MC rates are like 5 days a year...you have a long career ahead of you...you better take care...".

I was so hopping mad then. Teachers aren't allowed to question students' MCs or even letters, and here we teachers are treated like malingers when we take MCs. I insistently told her what I told, and even held her back to explain to her that I have no issues with work or my personal life whatsoever to get MCs for day offs. But she deserve harsher words really, and I now see how much she really cares for her staffs.

I'll monitor the situation and see how I fit into this place...if not, it's bye bye in 2 years' time.