Visited Stephen's wake just now, and at one or two moments I felt sudden pangs of sharp sorrow that I held back. I don't think one needs to be close friends with him to mourn his passing. So many people had visited his family these two days, and our NIE lecturers were there too; that showed how much his presence meant to us. I realised that there is much less false sentiments at a funeral, unlike weddings when courtesy sometimes made unwilling people turn up. We got to talk to his younger brother, a very eloquent and personable man who is intending to follow his footsteps and join PESS this coming semester. He and his brother will surely help his parents cope with the loss.
I'm off to a 3 day round island trip with my Odac kids tomorrow - it's has drained quite a lot of time from me during this semester, and I am kind of glad it is finally happening, hopefully according to plans. Will update this page with pictures from my grand adventures when I'm back.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Sadness
Just received news today of the passing of a friend I know in NIE - he was from another class, but we took quite a few modules together. We had shivered in the cold waters of the NIE pool together during swimming lessons, laughing at each other's goosebumps. I remember recording a funny video clip of him trying to dive into the water and ending up slapping his front flat on the surface. We played against each other in soccer and badminton, and practiced softball throwing numerous times together. We were never really close but he was one of those good-natured chap whom you get a warm feeling from whenever you see him around.
He was a man with an impressive physique, and I am sure he made his teams proud whichever team he paddled with in dragonboat races. I do not know why the national team's boat that he was in at that race in Cambodia capsized, why no one on the boat wore PFDs, and why he didn't managed to surface and keep himself safe despite being able to swim. It is almost maddening that such a tragedy occurred, because it was probably preventable. I'm not the sort to say that such a way to go was fitting - no one deserves to die for their sport. Sports ought only to empower people, make us feel alive or even give us a reason to live.
He was a man with an impressive physique, and I am sure he made his teams proud whichever team he paddled with in dragonboat races. I do not know why the national team's boat that he was in at that race in Cambodia capsized, why no one on the boat wore PFDs, and why he didn't managed to surface and keep himself safe despite being able to swim. It is almost maddening that such a tragedy occurred, because it was probably preventable. I'm not the sort to say that such a way to go was fitting - no one deserves to die for their sport. Sports ought only to empower people, make us feel alive or even give us a reason to live.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sky Dining
The view just pass the WTC stop - there was this 'Asian Cruise' ship docked right beneath us, and we could hear strains of Chinese songs from it. One of the attractions was to see the sunset from the sky, but the weather was cloudy and the only glimpse of it was a parallelogram window of bright orange set among the grey.
Sun setting already - lights coming up. Main courses and appetisers were quite nice, but desserts should have been better for the price.
And finally, her present.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The defining moment of my life
There was this time recently when I went to the toilet at my office to pee, and while I was on the job I had this sudden thought of gratefulness for everything that went my way (Yes, moments of epiphanies can occur to you at the most mundane moments of life) and got me there at that moment of time.
Is this a repeat entry? I am not sure if I had previously recorded these thoughts; I just am grateful sometimes for generally getting what I wanted in life naturally and seemingly without much effort on my part. I guess it helps that I ended up pursuing things I am passionate about it and somehow indulging in these activities helped to advance me forward in life somehow. So how did I end up in JC (after getting 27 points for prelims), landed up in the Arts faculty like I hoped for, and somehow became a teacher (with my dream combination of PE-Literature, at that!)?
And it all started on an afternoon in class 2B of Ang Mo Kio Primary School, during English lesson by a certain Ms Kaur. I can still remember the setting sun outside the windows and that the school day was nearing its end. She handed out card to each of us, NLB membership cards which was laminated plain white cards with only our names printed on it. But what pride we had in it! It became my prized possession from then on, and was my key to knowledge and learning. All I had, I attributed it to the fact that she got me hooked on reading for life though that small little act.
She will never know how much she has influenced the kids in her class, nor do I have any way of expressing gratitude. But I remember this and remind myself that it is possible to effect these changes as a teacher, rare though the chances might be.
Is this a repeat entry? I am not sure if I had previously recorded these thoughts; I just am grateful sometimes for generally getting what I wanted in life naturally and seemingly without much effort on my part. I guess it helps that I ended up pursuing things I am passionate about it and somehow indulging in these activities helped to advance me forward in life somehow. So how did I end up in JC (after getting 27 points for prelims), landed up in the Arts faculty like I hoped for, and somehow became a teacher (with my dream combination of PE-Literature, at that!)?
And it all started on an afternoon in class 2B of Ang Mo Kio Primary School, during English lesson by a certain Ms Kaur. I can still remember the setting sun outside the windows and that the school day was nearing its end. She handed out card to each of us, NLB membership cards which was laminated plain white cards with only our names printed on it. But what pride we had in it! It became my prized possession from then on, and was my key to knowledge and learning. All I had, I attributed it to the fact that she got me hooked on reading for life though that small little act.
She will never know how much she has influenced the kids in her class, nor do I have any way of expressing gratitude. But I remember this and remind myself that it is possible to effect these changes as a teacher, rare though the chances might be.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Dumb and dumber
The other night I was just telling Karen that I read this book called 'The Odd Brain' which affirms other research that draws a correlation between child intelligence and TV consumption. It writes:
Read this account by a columnist in the US who had this long-time teacher reporting to him that schooling kids over there are so unbelievably stupid nowadays. I'm glad our kids knows how to use a ruler at least, but that's small consolation given the fact that their standard of language use is poor.
TV programs artificially manipulate the brain into paying attention through the use of frequent visual and auditory changes. Healy claims that TV programs and advertisements, including those designed specifically for children, "are planned to capitalize on the brain's involuntary response to zooms, pans, loud noises, and bright colors, keeping it unnaturally alerted - but at a responding level rather than at a thinking level".In short, if kids watch TV as the main thing in their life, they're not going to be very smart. And TV happens to be very addictive to them too, and also for teenagers.
Read this account by a columnist in the US who had this long-time teacher reporting to him that schooling kids over there are so unbelievably stupid nowadays. I'm glad our kids knows how to use a ruler at least, but that's small consolation given the fact that their standard of language use is poor.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The courage to expression
Yesterday at a staff meeting, my former supervising teacher, the one who promised brimstone and hellfire to all who opposes her, raised the question to my Principal - Why do teachers have to come at 7.45am and leave at 12.30pm even though it is officially the start of the holidays, with only a few teachers needed to 'teach' some sec 3 classes?
Now it is a common malaise that when the top management make certain decisions, they will usually defend them and wave off probing questions rather than taking concerns raised into consideration. My P is, of course, one of those who believes in standing firm by her infallible logic and the decisions made with that. She gave a 20 minutes reply about how schools need a work to prepare for next year, there are department work (surely!), and (as an aside) that is will be proper for all teachers to follow the same schedule, probably out of a sense of fairness to all.
A whole lot of oratorical BS. She just repeated those few weak arguments round and round, and win only by subduing us with her droning - who could stand it lasting any longer? She basically sidestep the point of why teachers have to stay back if they have nothing to do or if work can be done at home, when it is officially the holidays already. Does she think that the teachers who had to stay back with their classes will get some perverted satisfaction if the rest of the staff all stayed back with them? And I hate how she likes to mention that "In other schools they actually ...", seeking to convince us of her kindness of making special concessions to us (which we do not understand/appreciate and she has to highlight to us especially) compared to the practices of some other anonymous schools out there with sadistic leaders.
At the end of the meeting, the same teacher voiced out that she realised there are teachers (one or a few, I am not sure) who thinks that she's showing off by always being the dissenting voice in meetings or when she shares her own classroom practices as possible models to follow. She wanted these people to address such things to her directly, says that it is very malicious of them...and then her voice broke and she wept!
I didn't realise that she could be so disturbed by gossips. I hoped she stays in the school, keep on doing what she has always done, and be the firebrand of our conscience. It is just unfortunate that she does not understand that the Singaporean are mostly gutless herd creatures. Not many will appreciate the strong opinionated voice, and they will scorn these voices when they can to hide their shame of being pathetic weak-minded creatures who dare not speak aloud. She can't expect them to tell her their thoughts straight to her face because they have no guts at all! If they have more courage to express themselves in public like her, Singapore will be a nation with more spirit and character.
Alas!
Now it is a common malaise that when the top management make certain decisions, they will usually defend them and wave off probing questions rather than taking concerns raised into consideration. My P is, of course, one of those who believes in standing firm by her infallible logic and the decisions made with that. She gave a 20 minutes reply about how schools need a work to prepare for next year, there are department work (surely!), and (as an aside) that is will be proper for all teachers to follow the same schedule, probably out of a sense of fairness to all.
A whole lot of oratorical BS. She just repeated those few weak arguments round and round, and win only by subduing us with her droning - who could stand it lasting any longer? She basically sidestep the point of why teachers have to stay back if they have nothing to do or if work can be done at home, when it is officially the holidays already. Does she think that the teachers who had to stay back with their classes will get some perverted satisfaction if the rest of the staff all stayed back with them? And I hate how she likes to mention that "In other schools they actually ...", seeking to convince us of her kindness of making special concessions to us (which we do not understand/appreciate and she has to highlight to us especially) compared to the practices of some other anonymous schools out there with sadistic leaders.
At the end of the meeting, the same teacher voiced out that she realised there are teachers (one or a few, I am not sure) who thinks that she's showing off by always being the dissenting voice in meetings or when she shares her own classroom practices as possible models to follow. She wanted these people to address such things to her directly, says that it is very malicious of them...and then her voice broke and she wept!
I didn't realise that she could be so disturbed by gossips. I hoped she stays in the school, keep on doing what she has always done, and be the firebrand of our conscience. It is just unfortunate that she does not understand that the Singaporean are mostly gutless herd creatures. Not many will appreciate the strong opinionated voice, and they will scorn these voices when they can to hide their shame of being pathetic weak-minded creatures who dare not speak aloud. She can't expect them to tell her their thoughts straight to her face because they have no guts at all! If they have more courage to express themselves in public like her, Singapore will be a nation with more spirit and character.
Alas!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Going slower...
Ok, life is less of a drag nowadays!
Things are winding down already. I still have projects to settle, but it is not causing me much stress now. I still run around for nonstop errands like today, but it feels satisfying to finish them. Good plans are coming up for my PE department next year, and I am getting motivated to help our department go up in professional standing.
English department stuff is rather messy though. There's a new HOD coming in, and that means a break-in period just when I am starting to get used to current routines. There's this rumour going that my former supervising teacher during practicum is pushing for me to take the first ever lit class for upper sec next year, and it's rather startling news. A grave responsibility and I can't help but think that me and the students will suffer a tragic fate at the exams if I am to assume that responsibility, but at the same time, isn't that what I have been looking forward to? I am just painfully aware that I have no experience in teaching literature after my sohrt practicum period, that I shy away from drama stuff and don't really appreciate Shakespeare from the bottom of my heart.
So. My homework for the holidays is probably to come up with resources for PE, since my teaching duties for English/Lit is uncertain. Oh yah, though I think things will stay the same, I will hate to work with my current form-teacher for my form class. That jackass deliberately didn't turn up today and can't be bothered to leave instructions. I can't verify if his sickness is genuine, but most likely not because when I called him to ask for things, he refuse to pick up my call but replied by SMS soon after the call dropped. When I quizzed him on certain procedural irregularities which the students said he permitted, he never answered, probably fearing that his reply will be used as evidence. Gutless wimp who only knows how to make hollow noises.
Things are winding down already. I still have projects to settle, but it is not causing me much stress now. I still run around for nonstop errands like today, but it feels satisfying to finish them. Good plans are coming up for my PE department next year, and I am getting motivated to help our department go up in professional standing.
English department stuff is rather messy though. There's a new HOD coming in, and that means a break-in period just when I am starting to get used to current routines. There's this rumour going that my former supervising teacher during practicum is pushing for me to take the first ever lit class for upper sec next year, and it's rather startling news. A grave responsibility and I can't help but think that me and the students will suffer a tragic fate at the exams if I am to assume that responsibility, but at the same time, isn't that what I have been looking forward to? I am just painfully aware that I have no experience in teaching literature after my sohrt practicum period, that I shy away from drama stuff and don't really appreciate Shakespeare from the bottom of my heart.
So. My homework for the holidays is probably to come up with resources for PE, since my teaching duties for English/Lit is uncertain. Oh yah, though I think things will stay the same, I will hate to work with my current form-teacher for my form class. That jackass deliberately didn't turn up today and can't be bothered to leave instructions. I can't verify if his sickness is genuine, but most likely not because when I called him to ask for things, he refuse to pick up my call but replied by SMS soon after the call dropped. When I quizzed him on certain procedural irregularities which the students said he permitted, he never answered, probably fearing that his reply will be used as evidence. Gutless wimp who only knows how to make hollow noises.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Sianness at work
I hope the next person who teaches 3NT next year finds my English Scheme of Work plans usable, but that'll be a bit too much to hope for I think. I am right now reading what my predescessor wrote just to find out what one looks like, and I got to churn out 7 modules roughly detailing the content of every English lesson next year by next Tuesday.
I think once people grow older they start getting more apathetic about a lot of things, things that they would be passionate about in their younger days. I don't hate my job and I find it interesting, but once out of school I try hard to keep all thoughts of it out of my private life. I can't really be passionate about anything I do in school for the moment, or maybe it's because I don't have much of a stake in the school as yet.
It isn't fun to work under a leadership crew that you don't feel comfortable with too. Silly admin issues and ways of running things, and general negative vibes emanating from certain leaders, just makes me feel that I don't want to stay in a school's team for long. But a future career option of going to MOE HQ seems like just an escape option rather than something I want to achieve. I guess at this moment of time, I don't really feel like achieving anything.
Also dunno what I'm writing about. Basically I'm just trying to procrastinate, and I think that's about the best thing I do in the office.
I think once people grow older they start getting more apathetic about a lot of things, things that they would be passionate about in their younger days. I don't hate my job and I find it interesting, but once out of school I try hard to keep all thoughts of it out of my private life. I can't really be passionate about anything I do in school for the moment, or maybe it's because I don't have much of a stake in the school as yet.
It isn't fun to work under a leadership crew that you don't feel comfortable with too. Silly admin issues and ways of running things, and general negative vibes emanating from certain leaders, just makes me feel that I don't want to stay in a school's team for long. But a future career option of going to MOE HQ seems like just an escape option rather than something I want to achieve. I guess at this moment of time, I don't really feel like achieving anything.
Also dunno what I'm writing about. Basically I'm just trying to procrastinate, and I think that's about the best thing I do in the office.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Promotion Day
Today is promotion/streaming day, where every teacher will sit down and decide what to do with the kids who fail their exams. I thought it will be a clear cut business, but my principal made it really tedious, going into monologues most of the time, and only taking momentarily breaks when asking other teachers to give comments for student so-and-so in a show that she value their input. I only teach the 3NT English, so I can expect to just stone there for the entire day. We took one morning to do the sec 1s, and probably the sec 2s by today.
And my department got this CHERISH report to finish up by Deepavali, and next tuesday I am supposed to produce a Scheme of Work for the entire 2008 English lessons for 3Normal Technical. So can you imagine what a wonderful waste of time today is for me?
And my department got this CHERISH report to finish up by Deepavali, and next tuesday I am supposed to produce a Scheme of Work for the entire 2008 English lessons for 3Normal Technical. So can you imagine what a wonderful waste of time today is for me?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)