Climbing vids!

Download massive quicktime videos of the World Climbing Championship held in Munich 2005 here! Used to spent hours and hours scouring the net for climbing and kayaking videos, stopped for a long while but find it fun to view it again once in a while. Anyone interested in a few gigabytes of such videos in all its different 'genres' can look for me :p

Restlessness

I feel restless...I feel like I should start something new...like go for a course or something. I can't explain why, cos if I channel my energies into reading biomechanics I'm sure I'll have a lot to learn there. But then again, it's not exactly something that excites me, so guess that's out.

Back in NUS days, I remember getting hyped up and going for one learning course after another, like my various kayak certification and coaching courses, rope courses, NCAP etc. Taking the rock climbing and abseiling instructor course was especially siong, cos these two are a three-times-a-week commitment, and I have to leave NUS to go out for sessions before going back hall late at night. But it's damn shiok when I leave hall for them wondering what I'll learn later.

I've such a short attention span, that's probably the problem. When I graduate out of PESS I'll probably think back and wished I learned more here. But right now, I can't say my modules fully satisfy my lust for learning. No extra money to go for SSC sports courses and such though, guess I'll just stick to reading biomechanics for now....

Challenges

I was asked if I felt any anxiety for the upcoming microteaching session at Yusof Ishak sec on thursday - well I did felt a bit apprehensive about it previously, but as the days draw nearly I'm strangely more excited and looking forward to it. The uncertainty makes it exciting I guess, and although there's always the chance of meeting with failure and disappointment, I'm eager to go out and try out my unit plan. First lesson is will probably be a tentative experience for both myself and the students, but I'm sure things will go smoothly as the session goes.

Think I'm a sucker for challenges, it's my way of making myself live life fully without regrets. I'll rather fail than not try at all - though this microteaching chance is something we just have to go through, I guess it helps to feel confident and eager to go into it. Going into teaching itself is a big plunge for me - I think it will be an easier way out for myself if I had went for OBS instead. But I'm sure that along with the huge amount of disappointment and pain that I will experience as a teacher, I will get back little tokens of satisfaction, kindness, and perhaps appreciation to make the effort worth it, all in all.

Reunion

Had been a while since I posted, not that life was any less boring (in fact the days went by happily everyday), but time had been committed from the computer to school and stuff. Dance project's almost settled, unit plan for microteaching done, and I'm back to coaching paddling and playing polo again. Yes it's good to spend time away from the computer.


Most notable thing that happened was the secondary school class gathering yesterday evening - haven't seen some people for years already, but the personalities' still all very recognisable. I think when we were younger, we were friends because we played and hanged out together; coming back together like this years down the road, our friendship now hinges on supportiveness and listening ears. Reunions also makes you feel old - you just can't help feeling that life has swept you along its path, and progress had to be made somewhere along the way in areas such as career and love life.

Disgusted at...

...the utter arrogance of certain lecturers and teachers, who think that they are all powerful and capable, and can bend rules to their wishes. Power and authority in these peoples' hands is abused and misused, and they use it to coerce respect from others and give themselves credibility. Shame on them for pretending to be role models for students.

Life at 30km/h

After 5 and a half hours, 77km and a sore pubic bone, I'm back in hall - Cycled from NTU to Tampines and back, taking two different routes. Tiring but exhilarating! High chance I'll be cycling from here to Changi Road (Kembangan MRT thereabouts) tom again, because I left my wallet there at a bike shop after purchasing something. Hope it's still there!

An analysis of Johari's window survey

It's just interesting to see how the people perceive me from their perspective - granted that the results are a bit skewed cos as someone said "How come there are only good traits, no stupid, idiotic etc...", still, the thing is that how people describe me so accurately describe also the context in which they know me. I'm not a believer of rock-solid personality and think most people display different traits in different situations, so it's really about the circumstances that people encounter you most often that formed them their opinions of you.

I think people whom I know through sports or in school tend to see me as an independent and confident person, which I can only agree to a certain extent. People whom I confided in before will say that I am a sentimental person and tend to list more of the 'quieter' traits. Those who says that I am calm and relaxed are the kan cheong ones, and the one person who said I am brave is often chided by me for being too cautious! (You know who you are :p)

And the two who said that I am a 'giving' person happen to be the ones who hold special places in my heart.

Pedaling

Cycled out of school with my roommate, wanting to go visit a few nearby bike shops to just get a cheap bike stand and fix up a problem with the cleats on my cycling shoes. My roommate ended up ordering a pair of cycling shoes himself with a shop at freaking Thomson road, and despite the very heavy rain that started while we were at Jurong East, I was somehow persuaded by him to pick that up there and then, pedaling that far through the stormy wetness of the late noon.

I got to admit that among all the sports that I do, cycling must be the most dangerous of them all. I had paddled in waters with 2 metre waves and climbed 30 metre natural climbing routes, but nothing beats cycling among the traffic of our familiar streets in terms of hazards. When I fly downhill and approachs 40km/h, I'll always start wondering when I will accidentally slip on gravel or the wet ground, lose control and fly through the air with my bike (yes, that will happen because I'm clipped into the pedals). It takes intense concentration to pedal in disciplined fashion on the double yellow lines for tens of kilometres, and on busy stretches I wonder when a vehicle might graze my shoulder with the side mirrors and make me crash.

Then again, being on your toes always to focus solely on the road, and the urge to keep up a fast speed to hear the rushing wind, provide me with an endless supply of adrenaline. To relax and feel tired satisfaction after a long ride...bliss!

Johari's window

Here's what people say about me...what do you think?

Arena (known to self and others) adaptable, friendly, giving, happy, reflective	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, bold, brave, calm, clever, complex, confident, dependable, energetic, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, knowledgeable, observant, organised, patient, quiet, relaxed, responsive, searching, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, spontaneous, trustworthy, warm
Façade (known only to self) cheerful	Unknown (known to nobody) caring, dignified, extroverted, introverted, kind, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, powerful, proud, religious, self-conscious, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense, wise, witty

All Percentages

able (6%) accepting (6%) adaptable (18%) bold (6%) brave (6%) calm (6%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (6%) complex (6%) confident (37%) dependable (18%) dignified (0%) energetic (50%) extroverted (0%) friendly (25%) giving (12%) happy (6%) helpful (37%) idealistic (31%) independent (37%) ingenious (6%) intelligent (12%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (25%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (6%) organised (12%) patient (12%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (6%) reflective (25%) relaxed (12%) religious (0%) responsive (6%) searching (6%) self-assertive (6%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (12%) sentimental (37%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (18%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (12%) warm (31%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

An die Musik!

A spate of chamber music concerts coming up! Bought 3 pairs of tickets for each of the three concerts here, spending only $53 in all (!):

1. 1st March - Qian Zhou Violin Recital; playing Beethoven's 'Spring' sonata, Faure's 1st sonata, Brahms's Scherzo movement from the 'FAE' sonata, and Brahms's 3rd Sonata.
2. 21st March - Li Wei, Cello Live; Shostakovich sonata, Adagio and Allegro by Schumann, and Brahms 2nd sonata.
3. 12th April - Cellissimo; with a programme of many short pieces each played by a different conservatory student.

Here's another two that I am contemplating going for (esp. the solo violin recital!), with only my budget stopping me:

1. 2nd March - Cello Masterpieces; Debussy, Prokofiev, Rachmaninov sonatas.
2. 2nd April - Darin Varbanov Solo Violin Recital; Solo works by Paganini, Bach, Wieniawski , Ysaye etc etc!

Just got my paycheck and think I'll be done spending it real soon; I always tell myself worthwhile chamber concerts are a must-watch because they are so rare in Singapore. SSO's orchestral music programming is so staid and boring, better to stick to intimate chamber music.

Different schools of thought

Back in my NUS days, the days went by like a breeze. Lessons were only tolerated till play time, followed by an intense sleepless period of assignment writing, a short cramming period, then the exams. Though I was never late for any essay deadlines, I was as slack as anyone can be in school, most of my energy being expended on sports and ODAC stuff.

It's rather a culture shock to be in NIE and seeing people working diligently everywhere. The stories were that NIE is a place for post-grads to slack, as there's no pressure to perform well and that it's just a matter of getting the work done.

But no...I remember I nearly died last sem from stress, unused as I was to being hunted down for project meeting one after another just by sitting in the canteen, when previously NUS canteen time was for pure idling and literary insider jokes. I played games so hard till I have to give up, and still have to contend with the academic work, not to mention being stressed out by the studiousness of people around me. I'm really amazed by most of the PESS cohort people for having so much enthusiasm for any work given to them, and it makes me feel quite out of place with my slack mentality ha.

This academic semester has been very easy on me, and I'm grateful for it. Time is never enough for all the things that I will like to do however - first things first, and the interests close to my heart will always be foremost in priorities. I still have a vehement hatred of group projects too.

Said's Orientalism and its critics

Here's a review of For Lust of Knowing: the orientalists and their enemies by Orientalist scholar Robert Irwin refuting Said's unrelenting critique on the field of Oriental studies in Orientalism. though he is a notorious card-carrying political critic of literature. As expected, his biggest argument against this book is its blatant ignorance of the politics behind Eastern cultural studies, when political involvement is the exactly the reason for the creation and propagation of this field of knowledge today. Point goes to Terry for never failing to read and write politics in literature, Said gets his respite from the weak thrusts at his arguments from this book, and Irwin sounds like the loser to me here.

Sea touring...

Had supper with Junbin on monday night, and we talked about sea touring inevitably - of dreams of getting my foldable kayak, bringing it to paddle and whale watch in the cold seas of Alaska, maybe visiting Halong bay in Vietnam this december for a start etc. We're truly damn one kind I think, not many like us in Singapore, who have dreams of seeing the world from the cockpit of a boat.

It's a wonderful view of the world from the sea...mostly silent, usually isolated, and giving you a perspective that puts you in awe of nature and make you want to stay within its watery folds. You will see things that most others will not see, watching from the land (have you not, seeing kayakers paddling by, ever thought about how you will be seen by them from out there?).

Kayak touring is addictive, I get hooked straight from my first experience. I can exercise and feel strong out at sea paddling my craft, enjoy the scenery and seeing the sky and water meet, and at night rest and reflect on the day and on my own thoughts.

I can feel the wind on my face...

See the sun descend from the sky...


Ponder about life under the unearthly beauty of the moon...


And see the sun rise again the next day in glorious fashion.


Like many outdoor adventures, sea touring help to remind you of the beauty of this world, cleanse your spirit of negativity, and recharge you for more challenges ahead. Getting a foldable boat is the key to further adventures like these, and I know these are experiences that I cannot do without.

School progress report I

Anatomy: Only have the notes for 2 of the lectures in all, never really paid attention in class, and totally clueless about everything from the Sliding Filament theory onwards.

Instructional Methods: Small little ideas here and there, hoping that they can be pieced up coherently into 4 lessons plans.

Social Context in Education: Last presentation to do, glad it's gonna be over.

Dance: Two left feet - Uselessly hobbling around trying to do the Polka step today, pathetic. Project topic yet to be decided upon.

Badminton: Studied for the test with a cursory glance at the rules last week, didn't know the answers to half of the questions just now.

Quite screwed, all in all. I'm a hopeless student.

Teaching effort

During the time when I was actively coaching recreational kayakers at PC, I made an effort of thinking about the lesson plan and schedule, and as time goes by I will make mental notes of learning points and assimilate them into subsequent lessons. I read and do research on technical information online and in books, tried out different disciplines and tried to make linkages between them to compare and contrast the uses of strokes and equipments in different contexts.

And for all my preparations, sometimes there will be days when a shortage of equipment or unfavourable weather ruin my plans for the class, making me feeling extremely unsatisfied, knowing that although the participants are often not aware of it, I have shortchanged them in some way because I cannot give them as much as I will like to.

Now this feeling is coming back as I think of my lesson plans for my upcoming microteaching sessions with a secondary school class - it's just damn hard to let 20 students learn badminton seriously within 2 badminton court area. Either they are stuck with mostly static activities, or I have to devise different sets of activities that will run concurrently opposite each other so that facility space can be given to each group at different times. Stuck at thinking of these activities for them, I shudder to think of managing 40 students by myself next time.

I really want to give my all to my future students; I only hope I eventually proved to have the aptitude to achieve that.

Truth and Trust

A friend blogged a thought-provoking post about trust and truthfulness in a relationship, likening it to a chicken-or-egg problem - which one comes first? If one partner do not trust, truthfulness does not matter; conversely, if there's no truthfulness, how does the trust comes about?

I think the quality of 'trust' is in part quite like 'love' (many will say the two are synonymous) - It's something you can (and should) give freely and willingly without conditions or demands from the other party for anything, you can't very well show it, and only time can tell whether the gift is warranted or well-deserved.

Daily learnings

I have thought of this a few times: of learning and remembering something new everyday. A small step each day towards building encyclopaedic knowledge.

But it has been a while since I last attended a class and got really interested in it. It's rather silly to build up a trove of trivial facts too, unless they can be useful in certain contexts. I read books for information on practical stuff, but it's hard to retain the knowledge unless it can be practiced.

Maybe I should just hit my books and get back to studying. I can keep learning new things that way cos most of the time I'm reading my notes for the first time and not revising it. Tsk tsk...

The mantle of leadership

What will you do in these situations when there is a call for a leader to step forward?

1. You're as clueless as everyone about the situation and the task - what will make you go forward?
2. If most of the people in group knows something about the task and you're one of the clueless one, will you take a step backward and relinquish the chance to learn?
3. If you are the only one in the know and the rest of the group are not, will you step out to 'help' the situation, or will you try to let someone lead and learn from the process?
4. From 3 - what if no one wants to come forward to try being a leader? Will you just do it for the sake of saving everyone, and let the rest hide behind your expertise?

Complicated scenarios, to which I have no answers to often. I ask these questions because I faced dilemma number 3 and 4 recently. Personally, I felt that there's no point with me taking a key role in an outdoor camp committee as others will have more to learn from the experience and I might well turn dictatorial when it comes to decisions, basing them on my past experiences and not budging on opinions unless someone can prove them misguided. But it seems that I have overestimated the capacity of the PE cohort to simultaneously have a strong interest to learn, and to take the brave step of stepping up to be a leader. And if eventually I will be relied on, and I know I will try my best to help when asked, shouldn't I just as well take the leading role?

What will you do?

Coming of age...

4th of February, Saturday
(A rainy day - cycling to Tampines with Enric)

Me: Wah lau, you know ah the last time I cycled in the rain like this was in secondary 3 or 4...that's like 10 years ago man...

[shortly after]

Me: You know huh, a lot of people my age in NIE are already getting married, or going too already...

Enric: Har? So young? How old are they?

Me: Around my age lah. The girls marry even younger...at a time when they are having babies, I'm still going around telling people, "Hey, look I got a new bike!"

Enric: [Guffaws]

Liquid life

"Picturing yourself as a boat on the open sea conjured a similar image of life unfettered by restrictions or limits" - Kokology 2, Tadahiko Nagao/Isamu Saito

Lameness...

I was reminded today that I seemed to have stopped going to the gym since this semester started. I visited the gym twice a week religiously last semester, wanting to catch up with the NTU polo guys in strength and speed, but now I've sort of lost the motivation to train polo at NTU at all, so the desire to get stronger has waned.

And I happened to have left a lot of other things out of my life too. I haven't coached kayaking for maybe, half a year? - Weekends seems too short for me to do coaching. Haven't paddled out at sea for months too - friends never jio me go. Climbing? - err...hopefully soon. Maybe when I get a new harness. Rope access work? Haven't got the lobang, no weekend jobs. Trekking? No totally free weekends, no kakis, no nice destinations etc etc.

I have such great excuses for everything. My current one is that my wounds can't get wet, so no polo for me for this week at least. Next week? I'll see how...

Teachers and Outdoor Educators

It is an extraodinarily wide chasm that separates the (physical education) teacher apart from the outdoor educator, and it is painful to see the differences between the two being glossed over when the former tries to assume the latter role under illusions of competency and with arrogance.

Some common assumptions on the part of teachers who tries to act as legitimate outdoor educators:

1. That being a recreational climber/trekker/kayaker/cyclist etc give them enough authority to supervise, or worse, teach others in the sports;
2. That being an outdoor educator means giving out sage advices and technical information about the outdoors (sometimes only about the gears that they are using), whether or not others are interested to know;
3. That engagement in the outdoor activities is the be-all and end-all of outdoor education;
4. That facilitation work means asking participants "So what do you feel about the activity..." questions after each day;
5. That the best programmes are the ones that pack the most activities in them at the cheapest rates;
6. That safety in outdoor activities means no risk, or no fun, from both the physical and psychological perspective.
   

In the outdoor classroom, the educator sets up the environment but do not push the student through the lesson. It is a place where the student is truly empowered, and the teacher must cede power to the students to decide what they want to take away from the experiences.

Some rash words from my impetuous self, prompted by a fear that the upcoming PESS outdoor education 'module' will breed yet another batch of teachers who believe they are true outdoor educators after the camp.

A happy Chinese New Year...

This was quite an exceptional Chinese new year for me - many unexpected things occured, mostly pleasant surprises though.

Reunion dinner - at my eldest uncle's new place. Very nice and beautiful house, decorated in good taste. He cooked the entire dinner like a chef in the restaurant, crabs and all, each dish coming up one by one, and even spoiled us with 3 different dessert courses at the end of it all. It's always nice to have a dinner with my extended family, especially now that all the kids (me included) are more grown up and can take part in conversations with everyone else. First time I cycled to a reunion dinner too.

First Day (early noon) - Woke up super late, and after a short visit to my real aunt's (my mum was adopted, and my extended family usually means her adopted family's siblings) place, we went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital to visit my grandma. She went to the hospital after the dinner the night before, feeling nauseous and apparently unable to pass urine; the doctors are suspecting kidney problems. Her mind was on her discomfort when we visited her, but I hope our visit gave her some measure of comfort, nonetheless.

First Day (late noon) - My whole family visited my father's sister's place (what do you call that?), and his younger brother's family was there too. Except for my dad, we didn't keep in touch with them for like, more than 10 years? By now my nephew is now a gangly lad in SP, and one of my cousin got married with 3 kids, and the other just married last month too. My goodness, what a world of difference I see in them, and them in me too I suppose. Realised that, one will have to expect to see relatives go through with life's cycle with each year, getting attached, then married, then in some other following years with kids, and it makes me conscious of my age all of a sudden.

First Day (evening) - We're finally back at my uncle's place after the previous night, where the extended family usually congregate in each year in the noontime to exchange angpows. It feels strange to meet everyone this late this time round, but good food and talk makes it more memorable actually, because now there's no pressure for anyone to run off visiting other places.

First Day (midnight) - Gambling! A new year custom that can't be missed! Visit to a place where all my sec school mates meet up, and played mahjong and cards after that. Won over $80, how cool is that.

Glad to know that while some things will change and move on with each year, other familiar and comforting things never do.