Haircutting

Sometimes I really hate getting my hair cut done at hair salons - Ok, they usually give much better haircuts than what you get at those $10-5 mins barbershops (sometimes you can't tell the difference though), but doggone it, do they have to fuss over my hair like that?? Please don't start by shampooing my hair and taking ages to work up the foam hive on my head, thinking I'm enjoying the process and squeezing more and more shampoo on. And only girlfriends should have the right to massage the scalp/ears/back of neck areas, anyone else doing it on me is almost molest.

And after the long wash of the hair looking up at the ceiling and thinking of England, the hairdressers will whip out half a dozen scissors and proceed to snip methodically and meticulously all over. If you know my restless cannot-sit-still self, you can just imagine the torture at having to sit there for so long with short hair bits falling all over the face but not being able to brush the itch away. Get on with it man! Shave it all if you have to, just release me!

Ok I appreciate the effort and the result, but please, my sunburnt dry-as-grass hair, treated with chlorine and salt water and cheap shampoo every week, really don't need that much attention can...